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Author Topic: Jokes *May Offend*  (Read 150391 times)
Damit
Getting In there and getting Messy
Clan Captain

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Posts: 6550


Why Are You Reading This!!!


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« on: 07/07/2007, 08:31 PM »

Ok post all your jokes here  :dthumbup:
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“You have got to help me. She is trying to kill me with sex. I cannot get out - and I cannot go on!”
 
Jakes2142
Veteran Member

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Karma: 39
Posts: 714


Arc Angel


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« Reply #256 on: 14/06/2010, 01:25 PM »

BOHICA - Bend Over, Here It Comes Again. Often heard prior to the delivery of a pineapple (q.v.), i.e. one is about to be 'shafted' with an unpleasant task.
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I need mana like a whore.
bageled
Veteran Member

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Karma: 375
Posts: 3330


Consoles are the future


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« Reply #257 on: 21/06/2010, 10:48 AM »

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.


When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, 'What a beautiful baby..'
The mother said, 'Why, thank you, Johnnie.
Johnnie said, 'He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see alright?'

'Yes', the mother replied, 'we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.'

'That's great', said Little Johnnie,'coz he'd be fucked if he needed glasses'.
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Jstar
Senior Member



Karma: 23
Posts: 824


Oh Hai Der Nubcake <3


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« Reply #258 on: 21/06/2010, 05:42 PM »

Rofl bageled
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KezKa
Guest
« Reply #259 on: 22/06/2010, 11:18 AM »

+1 bageled funnest thing lol
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redivan
Guest
« Reply #260 on: 23/06/2010, 03:19 PM »

What's the hardest part of baking vegetables?

Getting the wheelchair into the oven.
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KARNAGE
AWARD: MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS (26 Aug 2010)
Member



Karma: 44
Posts: 1435


That means I can also think inside the chimney


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« Reply #261 on: 23/06/2010, 07:53 PM »

An international teacher asks a question "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"

An African student "what's food?"

A European student "what's scarcity?"

An American student "what's 'other countries'?"

A Chinese student "what's 'my own opinion'?"
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Chalice
Clan Mascot

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Karma: 584
Posts: 7404



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« Reply #262 on: 23/06/2010, 08:19 PM »

What's the hardest part of baking vegetables?

Getting the wheelchair into the oven.

BBWWWHAHAHAHAHAA
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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
KezKa
Guest
« Reply #263 on: 25/06/2010, 11:50 AM »

im sorry karnage i dont get it?
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Chalice
Clan Mascot

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« Reply #264 on: 25/06/2010, 12:02 PM »

The chinese dont have their own opinion the joke insinuates that their government thinks for them and tells them what to think..which is true as far as Tibet goes
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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
Dex
AWARD: BitchSlapper Extraordinaire (18 Sep 10)
Legacy Veteran

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Karma: 162
Posts: 243



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« Reply #265 on: 25/06/2010, 05:40 PM »

The chinese dont have their own opinion the joke insinuates that their government thinks for them and tells them what to think..which is true as far as Tibet goes

Also, Europeans are rich, africans are poor and so dont have a lot of food, and americans only care about themselves (and are dumb) so they dont know about countries other than  their own
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KezKa
Guest
« Reply #266 on: 26/06/2010, 07:54 AM »

ty for explaining Kiss
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SolidSmiddi
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« Reply #267 on: 16/07/2010, 03:16 PM »


My lifelong dream finally came true.
A long night of wild sex in bed with twins.
I was telling a mate about it and he asked how I recognized one twin from the other.
I explained that Vanessa had a little heart shaped birth mark down low on her left breast, and Geoff had a beard.

.
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SolidSmiddi
Legacy Veteran

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Karma: 142
Posts: 873


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« Reply #268 on: 16/07/2010, 03:21 PM »

A few weeks ago I went out and I met this sexy cougar age about 55 a the pub.
She came on to me and whispered in my ear "ever done a sportsman's double?"
I knew what that meant - mother and daughter at once.
I drove her quickly to her place.
We went inside as she called out "Mum - are you there?"

.
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Chalice
Clan Mascot

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Karma: 584
Posts: 7404



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« Reply #269 on: 16/07/2010, 03:36 PM »

Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wrong  *goes to wash out brain, cuz I had a visual*
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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
Sillen
Veteran Member

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Karma: 75
Posts: 878


say cheese


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« Reply #270 on: 16/07/2010, 05:58 PM »

Gold smiddi.
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