THE WEDDING NIGHT
Paul and Mary get married
but couldn't afford a honeymoon -
so they go back to Paul's Mom and Dad's house
for their first night together.
In the morning
Johnny - Paul's little brother -
gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door
to go to school - he asks his mom
if Paul and Mary are up yet.
She replies - No.
Johnny asks - Do you know what I think ?
His mom replies - I don't want to hear
what you think !
Just go to school.
Johnny comes home for lunch
and asks his mom -
Are Paul and Mary up yet ?
She replies - No.
Johnny says - Do you know what I think ?
His mom replies - Never mind what you think !
Eat your lunch and go back to school ..
After school - Johnny comes home and asks again -
Are Paul and Mary up yet ?
His mom says - No.
He asks - Do you know what I think ?
His mom replies - Ok - now tell me what you think
He says - Last night Paul came to my room for the
Vaseline --- and I think..
I gave him my airplane glue.
This ones mine;
*TF2 lovers*
What do you get when you cross The Ambassador and an Übercharge?
Diplomatic Immunity
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”
I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!”
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.”
I said, “Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go !”
We went to lunch.. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We?”
I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind ?” She said, “Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok.” I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake … Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.
…
And I just sat there.
…
On the couch.
…
Naked.
...
...with a hard-on.
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