How much genetic data is stored in sperm
The length of the haploid human genome is ~3.1e9 base pairs. Thus, at 2 bits/bp, each sperm carries ~3.1e9 bp * 2 bits/bp = 6.2e9 bits (740 MB) in genetic information.
Although sperm count is highly variable, the average total sperm count is ~300 million per ejaculate. Thus, we have 740 MB * 300e6 = 2.32e17 bytes = 217,000,000 gigabytes = 206 petabytes per ejaculation. One petabyte = 1000 terabytes.
So assuming the average spooge is about 3 seconds, this represents a data transfer rate of about 68.666 petabytes/second.... which is close enough to 69.
When you blow your load your little fellas is spewing out more than 69,000 modern hard drives worth of information. This is by far the most efficient method of data transfer in the known universe.
Unfortunately the packet loss for this mode of transmission is terribly high.
If they were using TCP/IP the transfer would look something like this:
syn.. ack.. Syn.. Ack.. SYN.. ACK.. fin.. fin+ack
This sets the stage for some terrible pick up lines:
'Can I anonymously upload into your server?'
Which can be countered with:
'403 PERMISSION DENIED'
... forever a localhost
although if you're REALLY lucky your partner may allow you to use a proxy.
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