Jokes *May Offend*

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22/06/2023, 10:15 AM Syklone - ..... hi

18/02/2023, 07:10 PM Damit - https://discord.gg/fYqDFYx

18/02/2023, 07:09 PM Damit - join us on Discord https://discord.com/inv... ite/fYqDFYx

29/11/2022, 12:19 PM BoHiCa - YESSSSSS

26/10/2022, 04:27 PM Victor9-5 - yooooooooooooo!

21/05/2021, 06:19 AM DonutKing - First post

28/08/2020, 08:39 AM Damit - its because we are all on discord now mrx

29/07/2020, 07:42 PM MrX - Its a bit dead round here

29/07/2020, 07:42 PM MrX - Anybody playing COD 

26/03/2020, 10:52 AM Epsoma - Hey Team. Locked down in self isolation. Hope you all are good.

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[Damit]

Ok post all your jokes here  :dthumbup:

[KARNAGE]

they're the kind of jokes M. night shayamalan would say, but they're still funny


One good thing out of the BP oil spill, pelicans wont have to go to a mechanic for an oil change

[DonutKing]

One afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the Scotsman said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the Scotsman replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the Scotsman answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the Scotsman and said, "Sir, you are too kind.. Thank you for taking all of us with you.

The Scotsman replied, "Glad to do it.

"You'll really love my place.






"The grass is almost a foot high."

[Chalice]

LOL

[Paradox]

That was good

[DonutKing]

 An Irish woman was admitted to Hospital today after having phone sex.

Doctors managed to remove 2 Nokia's, 3 Motorola's and 1 Samsung,








No Siemen was found.

[SolidSmiddi]

A little boy comes into the kitchen one day and says to his mum "Granny's got a prawn!"
The mother says "What on earth do you mean?"
The boy takes his mother and shows her Granny, stark naked asleep on the sofa.
He points to grandma's protruding clitoris and says, "Granny's got a prawn!"
His mother whispers "That's your grandmother's clitoris son!"
To which the little boy replies...."Well it tastes like a prawn!"

.

[Jstar]

Smiddi, that was really really bad. Like not even immature funny. :\

[Dex]

i loved it !!!1

[Splints]

I got some pretty bad ones.

Why were the jews angry at the germans after WW2?

The germans sent them a gas bill.

Why are womens pussys and arseholes so close together?

So when they get pissed at the pub you can carry them home like a 6 pack.

Two homos are living together when their house catches fire, which one gets out first.

The one with his shit packed.

[Chalice]

Two homos are living together when their house catches fire, which one gets out first.

The one with his shit packed.

ROFL +1

[KARNAGE]

Smiddi, I nearly gagged. funny though

I dont know if I mentioned these one before but

Why do women have trouble peeing in the morning?
have you ever opened a toasted cheese sandwich (visualise it)

How do you make your wife scream AFTER sex?
wipe your dick on the curtains.

[Splints]

One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice. Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."


A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?""No!" she shrieked, aghast.So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked."Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic."Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

[Chalice]

ROFL..that last joke is one of my all time fave's +1

[Splints]

A girl is working at a chemist when a bloke walks in. The guy wonders around for a while looking confused so she goes up to him and ask's how she can help. "Im looking for tampons" says the guy. So she shows him where the female products are and goes back to the counter. A few minutes later he comes up to the counter and puts down some cotton buds and a roll of string. I thought you were after tampons says the girl. The bloke replys well I was going to, then I rememberd the other day when I asked my wife to get me a pack of ciggarettes at the shops, she brings back some rolling tobacco and papers, they were cheaper she says. So I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she.

[Raistlin]

Lol splinter (moral of story-- payback's a bitch)