Jokes *May Offend*

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22/06/2023, 10:15 AM Syklone - ..... hi

18/02/2023, 07:10 PM Damit - https://discord.gg/fYqDFYx

18/02/2023, 07:09 PM Damit - join us on Discord https://discord.com/inv... ite/fYqDFYx

29/11/2022, 12:19 PM BoHiCa - YESSSSSS

26/10/2022, 04:27 PM Victor9-5 - yooooooooooooo!

21/05/2021, 06:19 AM DonutKing - First post

28/08/2020, 08:39 AM Damit - its because we are all on discord now mrx

29/07/2020, 07:42 PM MrX - Its a bit dead round here

29/07/2020, 07:42 PM MrX - Anybody playing COD 

26/03/2020, 10:52 AM Epsoma - Hey Team. Locked down in self isolation. Hope you all are good.

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[Damit]

Ok post all your jokes here  :dthumbup:

[YosimeteSam]

Queensland Government at work.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Queensland Parliament Buildings. One is from  Ipswich, another from Logan and the third is from Kenmore.
 
All three go with a Parliament official to examine the fence.
 
The  Ipswich contractor takes out a tape measure, does some measuring then writes down some figures. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900, $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Logan contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700, $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Kenmore contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Parliament official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Kenmore contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Logan to fix the fence..."

"Done!" replied the government official.

And that, my friends, is politics Queensland style ! !

[Virgil83]

ROFL!... +1

[KARNAGE]

LOL, so thats where Kevin Rudd got the idea to give us all $900, he is from queensland and im guessing also from Kenmore

[YosimeteSam]

LOL, so thats where Kevin Rudd got the idea to give us all $900, he is from queensland and im guessing also from Kenmore

Correct!

[Number One]

this made my day,
my wife says, why is a mans favorite sex position always on the bottom.
.....because men only know how to fuck up.!
she has a giggle and walks away to the bedroom.

i take off my belt wrap it round my right knuckles and follow......:%

[Chalice]

Lol...+1 anglo.

NOone tell my wife this joke...ok?

[KARNAGE]

there's two tampons.
what does one say to the other?




your a stuck-up cunt

[DonutKing]

And that, my friends, is politics Queensland style ! !

I worked for Queensland government for a while, sadly there is more than a grain of truth to this.


To contribute here's a filthy joke:



What sound does a baby make in a microwave?



Don't know, I was too busy masturbating







Also, I was in NZ in August and here is a pic of the cigarette vending machine from one of the bars at Queenstown:



For those who don't know who that is:
_{It's Freddy Mercury from the band Queen, a homosexual who died from an AIDS related disease}

[Damit]

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 

[bageled]

hahahaha......queenstown, august [ears prick up] one plank or two?

[DonutKing]

One plank, went to Remarkables and Coronet peak, stayed at discovery lodge.

[Borat Jr]

hahaha. thats sick

[DonutKing]

Next time you're bored on a plane, or sitting next to some really annoying passenger- open up your laptop, go to this page and hit F11, and let the good times roll 

http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf

Beard and turban optional.

[Project Alpha]

Ok, so here are a few jokes I have heard and I apologise if they have been said but I didnt read all five pages.

What's better then seeing an Aboriginal spinning on a clothsline at 100kph?
Stopping him with a shovel.

Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family.

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing you have already told her twice.

How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

What do you buy from an aboriginal garage sale?
your stuff back.

I have more but am going to eat dinner hehe will post more later.

[Number One]

yep aboriginal jokes still offend. but since this thread is all about offending people keep them coming. :lipsrsealed:

its ok i am sure the gods will punish you later.