Jokes *May Offend*

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22/06/2023, 10:15 AM Syklone - ..... hi

18/02/2023, 07:10 PM Damit - https://discord.gg/fYqDFYx

18/02/2023, 07:09 PM Damit - join us on Discord https://discord.com/inv... ite/fYqDFYx

29/11/2022, 12:19 PM BoHiCa - YESSSSSS

26/10/2022, 04:27 PM Victor9-5 - yooooooooooooo!

21/05/2021, 06:19 AM DonutKing - First post

28/08/2020, 08:39 AM Damit - its because we are all on discord now mrx

29/07/2020, 07:42 PM MrX - Its a bit dead round here

29/07/2020, 07:42 PM MrX - Anybody playing COD 

26/03/2020, 10:52 AM Epsoma - Hey Team. Locked down in self isolation. Hope you all are good.

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[Damit]

Ok post all your jokes here  :dthumbup:

[Mummbles]

lol thats funny ^^^

[KARNAGE]

have you seen the latest bree olson video?

last time I saw that many guys coming out of a hole was the chilean miners rescue

[Wombat756]

My wife bought me a watch for my birthday.
I said "I'll name it after your vagina"
She said"why,cos it's sexy and you love it?"
"nah, cos it's loose on my wrist...."

[Sillen]

smiddi is trying to book motels in geelong.  one of them had a review in chinese which translated as follows:

Hotels more remote, looking for a long time to find the time to have been late, over time the original Australian work is expected to reach very early start is also concerned about the time the staff have been off work, can not Check-In
后来到了的时候，果然酒店门口一片漆黑，结果我在前台的小屋房门口的内门和防盗门之间看到了工作人员留给我的信封，上见还画了个笑脸符号^^ Later I went to, when really dark front of the hotel, the results of my cabin at the front desk inside the door between the door and security door I saw the staff left the envelope, on see also drew a smiley face ^ ^
酒店是属于公园式Cabin，里面很大，有6个床位呢，有4个是上下铺的，在一个小房间里，不过看起来也满温馨的房间是Family Cabin，客厅很非常之大，厨房设施完整 The hotel is part of the park-style Cabin, which is large, then six-bed, four are on the lower berth, in a small room, but seems to have filled the room is warm and Family Cabin, it is very large living room, kitchen Full facilities

[KARNAGE]

What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?

A speech impedement.


Why can't Italians get acne?

It just slides off

[Dex]

Two old friends are camping in the woods together.

After two days and two nights one suggest at dinner: "You know, we've known each other for sooo long - there's not much to talk about. Why don't we spend the day separate tomorrow and tell each other our excursions over dinner? I go north and you go south - meet you back at camp for dinner?" "You bet!" the other replied.

So the next day they each go their separate ways and once the sun set they each headed back to camp. Upon arrival the first immediately asks: "So, how was your day?"

"I went north as you know and walked for several hours until I got to this beautiful little pond, which was a portion of a larger river. It was clear as anything so took my clothes off and swam for a while. When I got hungry I walked over to the river and fished my lunch, it was so full of fish it barely took a dozen casts. After lunch I relaxed in the sun a little more before I headed back to camp to see you. Quite a remarkable day - beautiful as ever. How about you? What where you up to all day?" he asked.

"I went south and I took no more than a few hours before I ran into railroad tracks and saw this AMAZING looking gal tied to the tracks. I ran over right away and untied her - just to have sex with her for the rest of the day. Man, we did it in every position you can imagine... Pooh I am still exhausted."

"ARE YOU FOR REAL - this really happened to you??? Did she give you a blow job too???"

"Nah - I couldn't find her head"....

[Dex]

A nun is in the bath when there's a knock on the bathroom door.

"Hello! It's the blind man. May I come in?"

The nun ponders for a moment, and thinking he may need spiritual guidance and that he is blind agrees. The door opens and in walks a guy.

"Fucking nice tits! Now, where do you want these blinds?"

[Dex]

I took a bird back home last night.

We got kissing on the sofa and, before long, I slipped my hand into her knickers. She asked, "Shall we take this upstairs?"

I said, "No, I'd rather we did it here."

"Oh I see." She winked, "Something in your bedroom you don't want me to see, eh?"

I said, "Yeah, my wife."

[Dex]

A little girl and her mother walking through the park one day when they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says......."Mummy, what are they doing?"
The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."
The next day they go to the zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex.
Again, she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the livingroom last night, eh?"
Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

[KARNAGE]

I locked myself out of my car outside an abortion clinic


apparently they get really offended when you ask for a coathanger

[Jstar]

I locked myself out of my car outside an abortion clinic


apparently they get really offended when you ask for a coathanger

LOL

[KARNAGE]

How do you save a black man from drowning?

take your foot off his head

[cryptochild4]

wont work karnage, no natural boyancy

[KARNAGE]

What's the definition of suspicion?


Your hotdog has a vein in it

[BoHiCa]

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind a third time to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends!"