Virgil83
Clan Vice-Captain
Karma: 271
Posts: 1458
Have you READ the DI Forums!?!
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« on: 07/02/2009, 01:28 PM » |
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When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.
Took her out with one fucking punch!
My grandad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.
"It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me.
My wife says it's disgusting to piss in the bath.
I suppose I should wait until she gets out.
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
my plumber is a sick fuck.....
The other day I told my neighbour, Edwin, that he was like Vegemite.
He said, "What, you either love me or you hate me?"
I said, "No, you're black and you smell."
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a
gravestone. I said "morning."
He replied, "No, just having a shit."
I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and
sexy, so I suggested we meet up.
She turned out to be an undercover detective.
How cool is that at her age?!
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help her
check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time
to be special.
I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean,
a ginger kid, with two friends?
Imagine my joy when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and found a
present I forgot to give my kids last year. Their excited faces were a
picture as they unwrapped it and opened the box.
...Poor little puppy.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth
floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start mate?"
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