Death Inc

how is that engineering? you paid them out? all engineer jokes end up with the engineer winning.

see

>> Two engineering students were walking across campus
>> when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
>> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
>> yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful
>> woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the
>> ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
>> you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly,
>> "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
>>
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Two:
>> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist,
>> the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is
>> twice as big as it needs to be.
>>
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Three:
>>
>> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one
>> morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
>> The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We
>> must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
>> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never
>> seen such ineptitude!"
>> The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
>> Let's have a word with him." .......... [dramatic pause]
>> "Hi George, say, what's with that group ahead of us?
>> They're rather slow, aren't they?"
>> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of
>> blind firefighters lost their sight saving our clubhouse
>> from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free
>> anytime." The group fell silent for a moment.
>> The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
>> prayer for them tonight."
>> The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact
>> my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he
>> can do for them."
>> The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
>>
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Four:
>>
>> There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for
>> fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company
>> loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. A few years
>> later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly
>> unsolvable problem they were experiencing with one of
>> their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried every-
>> thing and everyone to no avail.
>> In desperation, they called the retired engineer, who had
>> solved so many of their problems in the past, begging him
>> to help them out with this difficult situation.
>> The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent 1
>> day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day,
>> he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component
>> of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is."
>> The defective part was replaced and the machine worked
>> perfectly to everyone's relief.
>> The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer
>> for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of
>> his charges.
>> The engineer responded briefly: "One chalk mark - $1.00.
>> Knowing where to put it - $49,999.00."
>> It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
>>
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Five:
>>
>> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers
>> and Civil Engineers?
>> Mechanical Engineers build weapons --
>> Civil Engineers build targets.
>>
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Six:
>>
>> Three engineering students were gathered discussing
>> the possible designers of the human body
>> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the
>> joints."
>> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
>> system has many thousands of electrical connections."
>> The last one said, "Actually, it was a civil engineer. Who else
>> would run a toxic waste pipe line through a recreational area?"
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven:
>> Normal people believe that: "...if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
>> Engineers believe that: "...if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
>> enough features yet." - Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight:
>> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing
>> whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a
>> mistress.
>> The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building
>> a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
>> The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
>> of the passion and mystery he found there.
>> The engineer said, "I like both."
>> The others: "Both?"
>> Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will
>> each assume you are spending time with the other woman,
>> and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Take Nine:
>>
>> An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called
>> out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
>> princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
>> pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and
>> turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for
>> one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
>> smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
>> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back
>> into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
>> Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
>> back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
>> I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for
>> a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for
>> a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

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