Nursing staff relief

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22/06/2023, 10:15 AM Syklone - ..... hi

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[Noraa78]

Dear Chalice,
As you know, a recent tree decorating venture didn't quite work out for me and I've spent the last month in rehab.
Do you have any tips i can employ to get that elusive sponge bath and happy ending?
Some of the methods i have employed are:
1. Complain that my groin where i fractured my pelvis hurts and suggested a massage to help ease the pain.
2. Said i could do with some help in the shower, even going as far as pressing the call nurse button in the shower and making sure they catch me in the act.
3. "trawling" along the halls.

I eagerly await your response as I think my wheelchair is starting to struggle under the extra weight

[Chalice]

Well Noraa...i'm glad you asked!

This is a tough one as you are an ugly cunt, but i'll try my best to help you step around that clear handicap and get you some "relief"

It would be a lot easier if you had of broken your arms, but noooooo you just had to go and break everything else didn't you, just to make my life that much harder?

ALright here's what to do and this will get you many nurses hands on ya!  -

* Get 15 litres of super glue and pour it on the floor, ensure you leave a clear patch around 30 x 30 cm's.

* Get your gear off

* get an erection

* Lay on the floor, on your back ensuring that you place your arse cheeks where the clear patch of super glue was.

* lay dead still and allow glue to dry and stick you to the floor.

Now here's how this works, the nurse will come in and see you lying starkers on your back on the floor with a raging mongrel and she'll be shocked...you need to indicate loudly that youre stuck to the floor and cant move (indicate this by try to move any part of your body), and that you need help.

As your cock and arse region are the only things not fastened tight to the fuckin floor they'll have no choice but to use your boner as a pull handle several times in order to unstick you!   AND as one nurse wont be strong enough to lift/ pry you off the floor, she'll get several nurses to help *sniggers* "tug you off" the floor!  If done right you should have at least 2 hands on you pulling with all their might on your cock.

WARNINGS, WARNING, WARNING - IF they have a large male orderly..this MAY backfire so be careful..unless youre that way inclined!



Hope that helps,

Chalice

[Sillen]

Broken arms wont help.  When I was in there there was a bloke with two broken wrists and all they did for him was some fishing line to the fly so he could get his pecker out and suggset running up and down the hall for exercise (with pecker in).

Do they still have the head injury ward.  IIRC, I was in Acacia Ward and the nutter ward was accessed from behind the nurses station.  You might have more luck in there than with the nurses.

Maybe some of your fellow patients?  They would also be looking for the sponge bath and happy ending and some of them wouldn't have been serviced for many months.

[Chalice]

^ This a great idea for several reasons - 1. he'd fit into te nutter ward np's at all AND thats where the good meds are!  2. The I'll tug you if you tug me, or even form a fukin tug train is exactly what the doctor ordered...pardon the pun.

[Noraa78]

ok, no 1. Your assuming they didnt throw me in the nutter ward already.
No 2. The patients in here have fuck all motor skills to successfully "pull off" a tug train. I've tried. However I might pay a visit to the bird in bed 6, seems to have the odd fit in her sleep.
3. Anyone got a bulk supply of super glue?

[Chalice]

However I might pay a visit to the bird in bed 6, seems to have the odd fit in her sleep.

GOLD!

[Noraa78]

Dear Chalice,

What is the best way to remove super glue from skin? I've managed to get unstuck from the floor, but while I was waiting for the nursing staff I thought id start things off and give them something to hold onto. Trouble is I had a little super glue on my hands.


Thanks in advance

[Chalice]

Oh Dear...I forgot to mention that......

DO NOT TRY AND RIP YOUR HANDS OFF HIM!!!!!!!

Metho works...suggest you drink some first as this IS gonna sting...........

[Noraa78]

Ok, shhhhhow I got my hansh on shum meffo and shum orange joosh. Dont ashk, coz if I've gotta re live what da cleaning lady wanted me to do for da 2 litersh, I'll barf. Had a few drinksh as pershcribed, now what do I do wit dish orange joosh?