How to stop an mmorpg addiction?

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[CordlezToaster]

Dear Chalice

I'm slightly concerned over the health and well being of a certain friend (who has ridden in a hummer). He who shall remain nameless has just bought into an mmorpg.

I'm worried he might spiral into an uncontrollable addiction in which he will become distant from social activities and friends. I have witnessed this behavior in the past in which case it ended up with moving back home to parents, losing their job, joining welfare, gaining weight and having an obsession with pizza crust and stiff socks.

I'm not prepared to watch this all over again, please give me guidance on how i can stop my friend from the inevitable.

Yours from a Distant Galaxy filled with toast, powered by a cosmic rainbow.

-CordlezToaster

[Paradox]

There. Is. No. Cure

[Reptile]

Don't worry Toaster... It's only a matter of time before they take an arrow to the knee, and then they may have no other option to leave the 'real world' and return to this one.....

[Crocket181]

Take him out behind the back shed and feed him a mouthful of buckshot. Put the poor bugger out of his misery.

[Chalice]

Well Cordlez..I'm glad you asked!

This is dire, dire news indeed and you are understandably worried about your friend.

You need to keep him grounded in reality, its the only way to save him befopre he gets lost in this "virtual" world he'll be playing in.

SO here's some tips -

* get him laid, maybe a good dose of vagina will sort him out.

* Ring up some bills - take his credit card and spend freely on it, sneak in at night and turn all his backyard taps on, find an outdoor power socket and hook up 100 bug zappers, nick his phone and dial an overseas sex line charged at $1.99 a minute...8 hrs later give it back to him..things like that..just ring up the bills, nothing brings a person back to reality than a $8,950.00 monthly bill.

* Dress up like a Dwarf or whatever fucking MMORPG he's playing and act the character for a week, just to show him how fukin ridiculous his "world" really is, i'm talking go everywhere in costume...dont forget to act the part 100% at all times, so swing that fuckin battleaxe and destroy the whole aisle at the shopping centre cuz they have no dwarven spirits in stock..decapitation is fine as youre in character!  Remember to scream "BATTLE" every time you see dog then run up and fuckin head butt the barking cunt...dwarves do that....

Worst case, you'll have to sharpen that axe mate and end it all...its for the best, why risk him being trapped in his own MMORPG mind forever...dont do that to him, if he's youre friend you'll do it.

Good luck, my prayers are with you and your mate.


Hope that helps,

Chal