Well Bohica..I'm glad you asked!
Having known Donut in real life I can assure that yes he IS that twisted and warped and it wouldn't surprise me to find that he is responsible for firefox using those translations so that anytime anyone looking up their local DonutKing store up would come dingdong etc.
How did this happen though, what made him this way?
Its pure speculation but I have it on good authority that......
As a young boy Chris grew up on a farm in rural northern NSW, his family being of 43rd generation cane farming stock had high hopes for young Chris to continue this proud and noble legacy and indeed all was looking well and on track as this fine young lad toiled the earth.
THEN..at the age of 10 Chris made a discovery...computers. Gone were the 4am wake ups to head into teh paddock, where he'd touch the cow innapropraitely and fondle the odd sheep or 2, NAY those days were over as this once fit and healthy lad became obsessed with the wonders of 8 bit graphics and intense 4 note tunes bursting from his Amiga 500. His family left to tend the fields to themselves they could only sit and watch as his potential vanished before their eyes.
Then came the horrible day that the family awoke to tend the soil and discovered that overnight Chris had recreated Doom in the cane field, chopping corridor after endless corridor recreating perefctly level 2 of Doom in the fields...including the blood and gore..yes Chris had killed all the surrounding neighbours and either staked their heads onto cane shoots or tied them to the walls of his "Doom" corridors. The family gagging at the atrocities they were witnessing called the police immediately and soon enough they discovered an exhausted 11 year old clutching his fathers rifle in the centre of the maze crying that he ran out of lives. The police took him into custody and he was soon committed.
Whilst in the institution young Chris was a model patient, behaving well and interacting with others nicely..until teh day came that the hospital upgraded their manual filing system to a computerized one. On seeing a PC he flipped the fuck out, inserted 23 individual lego pieces into his anus and began shooting the pieces out of his arse at people screaming "YEAH I'VE FOUND A BFG!!!"
Sadly he had taken 1 step forward and on seeing the PC leapt 300 back...his mind had gone completely.
Every wednesday afternoon the patients would get a little treat as the staff would bring in Donuts and prior to teh PC incident all would be happy, after the PC incident however as soon as the Donuts would appear there would come a high pitched squeal followed by a nude Chris wearing only a cape made from bed linen and a crown made from cardboard as he'd crash tackle the Donut carrier, where'd he rip them from their hands, dip his nuts in their face then leap onto a table... cape flapping in an imagined breeze, cardboard crown glinting as the sun struck it and he'd hold forth his Donut trophy and state loudly "I am the DONUTKING, bow down before me" before laying the donuts on the table and shitting on them, saying "The chocoloate one's are MINE!". He would only be referred to from that time on as His Royal Highness, The Donut King
Years pass and there's no improvement, Donut gets released as they need the bed space..in no way rehabilitaed, he gets a PC and looks for like minded nutters, he stumbles across Death Inc and with a tear in his eye he says "finally..i'm home" ..then eats a shit covered donut .
So there ya have it, a brief history on the man we know as Donutking...as long as you never mention Doom or accept a Donut from him, he's a great bloke to know and as you can see from this photochopped pic below that he had made..he still thinks he's a king, its safer to let him have that fantasy..trust me
Hope that helps,
Chal
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