Death Inc

Studying....studying...stu-dy-ing...ah yes I have heard of this before....and I'm glad you asked.

There are 4 trains of thought that come to mind when I apply my vastly superior intellect and unimaginable thought process to your problem.

1. Attempt to study and complete tasks assigned to you the same night as they are given, that way all materials are fresh in your head and solutions will come to you easier. Adjusting the way you take notes will also help, a hand held recorder will be extremely beneficial. If you have a lap top possibly record the lectures using its webcam and organize your folders neatly with subject matters etc. this will take up a fair chuck of space so invest in an external hard drive specifically for this purpose and file handwritten notes, such as diagrams etc that the webcam wont pick up easily, in an expanda-file neatly with dates etc. . That way you can go back and revisit the lectures and notes at will = Easy assignment completion.

2. Try and get all your fapping done early in the day...do it in one hit and get it out of the way, take your time and really do a good job of it, fap yourself dry. Now this initially will take longer than a single fap..BUT you aren't just getting started and needing a fap break and can concentrate on your assignment. Failing that I recommend some fine sandpaper in the palm and rub yourself fucking raw the first time, that way you'll be far too sore to even contemplate another fap for several days. = More time dedicated to assignments.

3. If all else fails I recommend fire...thats right...fire. If you know you're going to fail, simply set fire to the uni, lecturers office..if he/she has no notes...how can they mark yours? or finally and as a last/first resort depending on your mental state...set fire to the lecturer themselves, even if they get another one in to mark your work you can claim trauma over the death of the 1st one as you really got along well with them and you found it hard to do the work as it kept reminding you of their beautifull face that you'll never see again. Be sure to dap drops of water on your work to simulate tears. = Pass and getting into good books with new lecturer as they want that kind of bond with you to.

4. Again an extreme depending on your point of view but blackmail works well. There are several ways to go about it. You can go the boring way and dig/plant some dirt on them OR (and my fave) break into their home, rape the shit out of their dog/cat/goldfish put on the wifes dress, smear shit all over your face, wear a pirate hat and eye patch and snatch the daughter/wife as she comes thru the door, tie her to a chair and gag her and make a cardboard boat...dont forget the skull & crossbones flag made out of toilet paper and eyeliner. Then when the lecturer comes home he'll see the wife/daughter tied up by a dress wearing, shit smeared pirate that yells ' ARRGGHHH matey I seems to be a'ving a problem with me grades and YOU seems to be a'vin problems wit pirates..whats say we elp's each ova out aye?"

Hope that helps,

Chalice
Bucaneer

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