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Sgt.fatman
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« on: 07/05/2011, 01:03 PM » |
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A zombie has just broken through the door to your room.
useing anything within arms reach what do you do to stop the zombie from killing you.
i have a watch, mobile phone, 2 empty beers, a bottle opener, earphones and heel balm.
1:i smash the 2 beer bottles over its head to attempt to stun it i then tie its feet together with the earphones and stick the heel balm in its mouth on the way out.
2:i smash the 2 beer bottles over its head the zombie is immune to being stunned and i die a horrible death but before dieing i eat the heel balm because ive allways wonderd what it tastes like.
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Chalice
Clan Mascot
Karma: 584
Posts: 7404
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« Reply #1 on: 07/05/2011, 01:09 PM » |
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2
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 Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you? |
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Sgt.fatman
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« Reply #2 on: 07/05/2011, 01:10 PM » |
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this isnt a pick wich one u sould do thing post up what u can/would do based on whats on ur desk
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-NeOpHyTe-
Member
Karma: 13
Posts: 289
Brown bear is wrong!!
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« Reply #3 on: 07/05/2011, 01:21 PM » |
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i have a desktop printer, a stapler, a monitor & a pair of industrial scissors (big fuck off ones!) throw the monitor first - smash the printer over its head staple the fucker to the wall and go to work with the scissors  or maybe i should run like a girl and ring MaGyver he always knows what to do! |
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Chalice
Clan Mascot
Karma: 584
Posts: 7404
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« Reply #4 on: 07/05/2011, 01:29 PM » |
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Keyboard to its face, move chair to block it, throw shirt over its head to blind it momentarily, grab phone, break window and savage the fucker with broken glass...all else fails jump thru window to escape and call police with phone.
"Police, Fire or ambulance?"
"there's a fucking Zombie in my room!"
"Umm..could you repeat that sir?"
"I SAID THERE'S A FUCKING ZOMBIE IN MY ROOM!"
"transferring you now sir!"
......
"Police, constable McGregor speaking"
"There..is..a..fucking...zombi e..IN MY ROOM!"
"Now calm down sir, it sounded like you said zombie?"
"OH GOD, its climbing out after me!"
"What is sir?"
"THE FUCKING ZOMBIE...NO , NO GET AWAY...GET AWAY!!!!"
*sounds of screaming, followed by wet squishy noises*
"Sir...Sir, are you there?"
"brrrraaaaaiiinnnnnsssssss"
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« Last Edit: 07/05/2011, 01:34 PM by Chalice »
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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you? |
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DonutKing
AWARDED - MR DEATH INC 2010 - FOR GAYEST PICTURE IN A THREAD
Legacy Veteran
Karma: 503
Posts: 4229
I could fit two of you in my jeans. Idiot.
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« Reply #5 on: 07/05/2011, 01:36 PM » |
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hmmm, I have within arms reach:
-shelf full of video games
-3 inch thick book on repairing computers
-6 computers in various stages of disrepair
-a 14 inch EGA monitor
-DIO: Live at Donnington CD
-toolkit with screwdrivers and shit
So what I'd do first is put on the DIO CD. Hopefully the zombie will surrender to the pure awesomeness of 80's metal. If it doesn't stop the zombie, well it helps set the ambiance for some zombie bashing.
Otherwise I'd pick up the monitor and smash it over the zombie's head. Thing weighs a ton and the old CRTs will hold a charge long after they are turned off, so should give him a nasty jolt as well.
If that doesn't work, then I'd start throwing computers at it and stabbing it with screwdrivers. If I can't escape by then I guess I'd start crying like a bitch as the zombie munches on my spleen.
Of course, this is assuming the zombie doesn't see my shelf full of video games, realise what an awesome cool guy I am and decide that I may live another day, thus saving all of this hassle.
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Chalice
Clan Mascot
Karma: 584
Posts: 7404
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« Reply #6 on: 07/05/2011, 01:57 PM » |
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^ lol'd hard @ this +1
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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you? |
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cryptochild4
Member
Karma: 52
Posts: 813
I am a very large potato
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« Reply #7 on: 07/05/2011, 03:41 PM » |
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i grab the cat that is at my feet and throw it at it. i then crack the wine bottle over its head, then grab my 4 D Cell maglight and cave its skull in with that. i walk cool like over to my cupboard and grab my ninjato katana and smile as i say "i've been waiting for this day"
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Mummbles
Member
Karma: 18
Posts: 654
Raging "cuase someone has to do it!"
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« Reply #8 on: 07/05/2011, 05:55 PM » |
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i hae 2 knifes sitting on my desk i WIN!
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naf
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« Reply #9 on: 07/05/2011, 06:09 PM » |
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i'd put on my pants
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Syklone
AWARD: THE AI-FONDLER (27 Nov 2010)
Legacy Veteran
Karma: 78
Posts: 1534
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« Reply #10 on: 07/05/2011, 06:29 PM » |
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I would throw my wife at them andrun away for support and weapons and come back with a vengance...
I think
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This space for rent.
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Chalice
Clan Mascot
Karma: 584
Posts: 7404
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« Reply #11 on: 07/05/2011, 06:35 PM » |
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Is it a female Zombie?
If so i'd turn around and say "how you doin?" and shag it....then cut off its head.
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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you? |
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Z00111111
Legacy Veteran
Karma: 181
Posts: 2092
P.S. I'm Ceiling Cat
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« Reply #12 on: 07/05/2011, 06:40 PM » |
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I'd distract it by reading the Wheel of Time to it, then vacuum it's fucking face off. Or see if it prefers drums or bass and jam with it.
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Number One
Recruiting Officer
Karma: 110
Posts: 2620
I’m only here to drink beer and fuck fat chicks
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« Reply #13 on: 07/05/2011, 07:37 PM » |
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i'm a freakin medievalist, it would be like a blinded copper walking into a room full of outlaw bikies.
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 before I die I’m gonna suck a dick, and if I like it…Fuck me I’m gonna be pissed off |
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littletex1
Senior Member
Karma: 18
Posts: 413
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« Reply #14 on: 07/05/2011, 08:04 PM » |
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lol awesome replys everyone. to tired to post a real reply to this sorry....
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