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Author Topic: this will re-kindle a night mare for chal  (Read 1410 times)
BoHiCa
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This is my cup of care \_/ oh look its empty!


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« on: 18/04/2011, 10:10 PM »

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I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
DonutKing
AWARDED - MR DEATH INC 2010 - FOR GAYEST PICTURE IN A THREAD
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I could fit two of you in my jeans. Idiot.


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« Reply #1 on: 18/04/2011, 10:21 PM »

Can't blame him, the mere thought of exercising (on a pushbike or otherwise) sends shivers down my spine as well...
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inwalda
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« Reply #2 on: 18/04/2011, 10:27 PM »

lol donut +1
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Chalice
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« Reply #3 on: 19/04/2011, 09:50 AM »

LOL, but Cassowary's are an evil bastard of a bird


They're fucking Psycho's , look at this bastard freaking out..at a fukin tree
<iframe width="854" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/T0wsiLWLQLU?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

And they're smart, watch this clip and this animal "expert" getting freaked out, you'll see what I mean about Velociraptor and "clever girl"

<iframe width="854" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/YA58sS3x2Oo?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="854" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/8jB2QFmXUCo?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
MrMagic
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I Love My Crumpets


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« Reply #4 on: 19/04/2011, 10:19 AM »

<iframe width="854" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/YA58sS3x2Oo?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

With the tactics those guys used, they have played PR.
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bageled
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Consoles are the future


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« Reply #5 on: 19/04/2011, 06:45 PM »

damn, those things are nasty, have you had some experience with them Chal?
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Chalice
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« Reply #6 on: 19/04/2011, 06:58 PM »

yes Sad

When you join Inf you get told to watch out for drop bears, hoop snakes and cassowary's..so I thought they were BS and used to laugh at the guys saying "dude..seriously..be carefull of them, they fuck diggers up because when you're on night sentry you hear two feet stepping thru the bush, you challenge, no answer so you arc them up and freak them out and they charge and tear strips off ya" ..to which I'd respond "yeah whatever dickhead..I'm not stupid enough to believe that shit!"


Anyway...


I was on an exercise in Tully and standing guard in this shitty guard box doing base protection.  It was hot and boring and I seen a white plastic bag sitting in the middle of the track 50mtrs away and thought "wtf is a bag doing out here?"  fuck it, i'll go get it.

(keep in mind Jurassic park had just been released and Id seen it)

I was bending down to pick it up when (to me) a velociraptor came screaming out of the bush to my right and did the claw kick thing at me..I FUCKING SCREAMED AND RAN.

As I was running back to the guard box I could hear it at my feet grunting and chasing me.

I ducked into the guard box and slammed the door..this thing smashed it horn straight thru the cardboard like door and started savaging it with its claws and just fucking screaming at me....I was screaming back..like a terrified girl.

The box had a little window on the side so I took my rifle off safety and stuck it outthe window and emptied a clip at it...only had blanks in it due to it being an exercise and whilst they can hurt or even kill a man..it just pissed this velociraptor off like you wouldn't believe.

The radio went off as my Sgt wondered what the gunfire was about so I jumped on the radio and screamed into the radio "A VELOCIRAPTOR IS ATTACKING ME..A VELOCIRAPTOR IS ATTACKING ME!!"

What seemed like hours later the sgt has rocked up in a jeep and seen this thing just going apeshit at the door he beeped the horn and nudged it with the jeep..it ran around the back of the jeep and launched at the door again (I meanwhile was pushing on the door to keep it shut as this thing was busting it down and its claws were coming thru)

In the end he had to hit it fucking hard and it pissed off, he opened the door and I was a fucking mess.

he says to me "what did you do to piss the cassowary off?"

I said "Cassowary?..theyre real?  I thought they were bullshit..are drop bears and hoop snakes reall too?" (in the most terrified/girly and frightened voice imaginable)

We theorize it was so angry because we must have been near its nest, the bag must have puffed up with the wind and it thought I had an egg  Undecided



Was a bad day....let the laughter begin Sad

« Last Edit: 19/04/2011, 07:05 PM by Chalice » Logged


Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
cryptochild4
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I am a very large potato


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« Reply #7 on: 19/04/2011, 07:03 PM »

chalice, i trade you this song for your story, i liked your story, and i like this song, so it is a fair swap

<iframe width="854" height="480" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/d17UkOTIwyg?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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Chalice
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« Reply #8 on: 19/04/2011, 07:07 PM »

ooooook  Shocked
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bageled
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« Reply #9 on: 20/04/2011, 03:53 PM »

hahaha, nice
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Noraa78
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« Reply #10 on: 20/04/2011, 08:56 PM »

Yeah, works old office buidling was guarded by these bastards  PDT_Armataz_01_14

Nah, got wind of this story and knew chal did the security rounds at checked on our offices. So i thought i'd give him a chuckle one night and made up a "Warning this property protected by velociraptors" sign on the front window.

I so wanted to try and find a stuffed or life sized carboard cut out and set it up on some sort of pulley and motion detector system so it came charging at the door when he turned up for his check.
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I survived the DI 2011 meet, and all i got was this rash
Chalice
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« Reply #11 on: 20/04/2011, 10:57 PM »

Funny as fuck that night Smiley
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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
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