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YosimeteSam
Guest
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« on: 25/09/2007, 02:31 PM » |
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Pickup Line . .
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him,
looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen up, Buddy. I screw
anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door,
back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes
on, dirty, clean . . . it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever
since I got out of college and I just love it."
Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "'No kidding. I'm a lawyer, too.
What firm are you with?"
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i t over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.
Andrew A. Tamandl
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