Where do farts go?

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[CordlezToaster]

Dear Chalice

It's quite well known that your really knowledgeable in the human body and its daily functions.
One thing that has been puzzling me of late, and im sure its puzzled man for many centuries is
"Where do farts go when you hold them in?".

I have looked in what i think are the most obvious places like other peoples pants, in the chimney, the toaster, my cd drive, my sub woofer box, my work mates unopened yogurt to see if i can find them.

So far i have not been successful, i really feel that somewhere out there is a treasure trove of peoples farts waiting to be sniffed.

Please help.

[CordlezToaster]

Here is some proof to show that men & women have been looking, its even made into cartoons.

[Chalice]

Well Cordlez...I'm glad you asked!

When you hold a fart in for a period of time so that it feels like its gone, what has actually occured is the gas has broken down to the point where it enters your blood stream.  From here the gas either goes to the lungs and escapes that way in the form of a burp OR in extreme cases can travel to the brain causing a "Brain Fart"

A brain fart occurs when the noxious gases that should have escaped your anus, collect and interupt your brains neural network by temporarily blocking their pathways before moving on, eventalluy escaping the body in the form of BO.

Now whilst the "brain Fart" is occuring, depending on where the gas is at any point in time people can try to say something and it comes out as "MMHGGpalapala pala" at which point the block will usually move on and they'll poke their tongue out and say "let me try that again"..........

A standard Brain fart is responsible for things like -

*forgetting where you put your keys,
*forgetting what you were about to say in the middle of a conversation,
*Walking to the kitchen and forgetting why your there..only to walk back to a room and then remember why you wanted to go to the kitchen in the first place
*Allowing Damit to be born

A serious brain fart can cause you to do permanent shit, like propose marriage or stab yourself in the eye with a snail (currently researching which is more painful) ...so its important that you get all this gas out before the toxins build up to this level, so let it rip my friend and when ppl look at you in disgust , look at them calmy and state "I'm merely trying to prevent a serious brain fart..DUH!"

Hope that helps,

Chalice

[CordlezToaster]

Dear Chalice,

Will a brain fart cause you to score 0-11 K/D in Badcompany 2?

--CT

[Chalice]

Yes...yes it will

*whispers* "bastard, it was a nice tie in..now I have to +1 him"

[Noraa78]

Well played CT,.. well played

[Jstar]

That was a good'un Chal! Actually kinda logical in a Chalice kinda way

[deadeyetris]

Hold up! let me state a fact!

Chicks do not fart!
Chicks do not shit!

its gross and doesnt happen!

so bowl movements only apply to males.

thank you

[Virgil83]

Ohhhh so THATS where fat chicks come from... the swelling up of the body from not performing those natural acts!

[deadeyetris]

ok is it just me or are people thinking about having sex with her in that position?

[Chalice]

Sure am..you're in there too now, is that weird?