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Title: The World According To Chalice - Sneak Peek @ Current Book Post by: BoHiCa on 03/03/2009, 01:20 PM Toolbox
You need only two tools in life - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape. Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of Gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre. Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. antithesis When you try to demonstrate how something works to someone, it won't. Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theatre At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. The Starbucks Law As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance If the shoe fits, it's ugly. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Title: Re: The World According To Chalice - Sneak Peek @ Current Book Post by: Ametros on 03/03/2009, 01:44 PM Sweet, really looking forward to this book! :PDT_Armataz_01_12:
Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of Gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre. Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. antithesis When you try to demonstrate how something works to someone, it won't. Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theatre At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. I find these are all the ones that I feel are proved true in my life the most. I do believe that the Law of Physical Surfaces could very easily apply to a freshly washed, ironed etc, white shirt that happens to be the only one you have when you're about to go to a formal gathering? (Or school in my case..) And the Law of the Alibi has proven itself time and again relating to my homework... Why God, why? Oh and while I'm questioning God, I may as well include a quote in a chat with Robb that I recorded on my Steam Page: 5:53 p.m. - =]DI[= ²RoBB™ )NZL(: god 5:53 p.m. - =]DI[= ²RoBB™ )NZL(: if you dont make this happen 5:53 p.m. - =]DI[= ²RoBB™ )NZL(: il fucking kick yo ass Title: Re: The World According To Chalice - Sneak Peek @ Current Book Post by: Chalice on 03/03/2009, 04:48 PM Forgot one - Law of fuckability - if it has 2 holes and long hair..i'd shag it. Thank god i missed the 70's huh, otherwise there'd be a whole bunch of blokes violated.
Oh and rob prays to god too. Mine goes like this - Dear Omnipotent one..or is it impotent one...can never remember...anyhoo...Lord i would give a drunken bum a BJ and a reacharound to improve my accuracy in BF2..can you help? His response - Why the fuck did i create you Chalice? My response - Ummm so i could orally please drunken bums and goats Note : Accuracy still hasn't improved...but i have a funny taste in my mouth Note Note: The meaning of my name Chalice comes from the holy grail or the cup of god, i dont usually take the piss on our lord...but i really wish he'd stop sending Bums around to my joint |