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Author Topic: Time Travel  (Read 6709 times)
RoBB_NZL
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« on: 25/04/2009, 04:37 PM »

Master Chalice . Lord Of All . Ruler Of The Stationary Kindgom , which reaches from the paperclip falls to the stapler mountain.

I was in a recent philosophical (had to copy that from google , couldnt remember how to spell it) . anyway i was in a philosophical debate with a friend on how to make a time travelling device , I put forward the idea of getting a large cardboard box approx. 2 by 4 metres and using a glue gun covering it in cd's (shiny side out).


Mi  lord Chalice how would you go about this?
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Chalice
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« Reply #1 on: 25/04/2009, 05:35 PM »

Well Rob...i'm glad you asked.

You had the right idea with the box...but the Cd's on the outside are used to reflect light...so if your trying to make an invisible box...keep going with your theory...i'd be glad to consult with you further on it.

The current theory for time travel revolves around the belief that if one can fold space and if you can bend it far enough to create a donut...then you could go back in time...but  I think its utter rubbish in my book and they dont know what theyre talking about.

My first experiment involved the use of a car, a couple of rockets and some magic mushrooms...hollywood got wind of it and as they used Michael Fox as the lead character...that experiment was never going to be taken seriously again.

So i went with plan B which failed and later became known as Bungee jumping.

Onto plan C

Plan C - with the whole "backwards belief in place" i went tuoba gniod gniyreve sdrawkcab, chihw dah dedtcepxenu stluser...it didnt work.

SO...I used a nail gun to nail 91 rats to the top of two giant horizontally rotating saw blades that I inverted from one another and which span at 30000 rpm in opposite directions...i then slowly immersed the rotating blades into a very deep swimming pool...i met resistance at first because i forgot to get the swimmers out of the pool, but the saw blades fixed that little problem for me.

As the blades slowly immersed into the water it had three effects...1. It created a large whirlpool 2. The water provided the right kind of gravity neccessary and 3. It drowned out the screams of my now VERY dizzy rats.

As the blades got deeper it created two vortexes one below the blades and one above in a kind of hourglass effect...at this point i slowly seperated the two blades creating an airless vacuum in between.

I then electrified the water...not because it had any bearing on the experiment..but because a couple of swimmers escaped the blades and were nearing the edge of the pool.

This had an unexpected result in that it created a positive ion field in the airless vacuum i had created which began to suck up all the water in the pool...in effect i had created a black hole...my Rats were now absolutley shitting themselves and luckily i had anchored the blades well enough to withstand the force of it.

So here i was...staring into a black hole...the pinnacle of mans belief in Time Travel...what to do next...only one thing of course...throw a baby kitten into it with a camera attached to it.

Luckily black holes amplifiy signals and my experiment was soon validated as i watched a group of cave men club the kitten senseless, skin it and proceed to tear into it with their teeth.

Unfortunatley one of the cave men got thru...but i've got him well trained now...have you met Bohica?

So there you have it...Time Travel is possible...all you need is 2 saw blades, 91 rats, 1 pool, a video camera and of course a kitten.

P.s. The Rats had no scientific value whatsoever...but its hilarious to see the look on those grubby little fuckers faces as they spin and especially when they see a bottomless pit form right in front of them...trust me...gotta do it.

P.p.s. Some animals were harmed in the making of this experiment...but they deserved it

Hope that helps

ecilahC

 
« Last Edit: 25/04/2009, 05:43 PM by Chalice » Logged


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BoHiCa
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« Reply #2 on: 25/04/2009, 05:39 PM »

ROFLMAO 

+1
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I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
RoBB_NZL
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« Reply #3 on: 25/04/2009, 05:45 PM »

LOL you craaaaaaazy! Kiss +1
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Chalice
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« Reply #4 on: 25/04/2009, 05:48 PM »

FOR SALE

91 very dizzy rats $10 o.n.o.
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Z00111111
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« Reply #5 on: 25/04/2009, 06:43 PM »

That does explain my concerns for Bohica...
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Jstar
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« Reply #6 on: 25/04/2009, 09:00 PM »

Rofl, My Mum got angry at my for laughing hehehehe
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Virgil83
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« Reply #7 on: 25/04/2009, 09:13 PM »

ROFL... Just ROFL... some of your best writing yet, Chalice...
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ENGAGE
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« Reply #8 on: 25/04/2009, 09:52 PM »

It all makes sense to me now awesome writing +1
and ill take one of those rats i need a meal to dizzy to escape from me.
Cheesy
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Dex
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« Reply #9 on: 26/04/2009, 01:52 AM »

im drunk. hi uncle dean
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Chalice
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« Reply #10 on: 26/04/2009, 08:28 AM »

Your what?  Drunk?  My little Dexy?

Cheers for the  PDT_Armataz_01_34 too guys...i actually do put alot of thought into these replies  Cheesy
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Z00111111
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« Reply #11 on: 26/04/2009, 08:58 AM »

It's ok Dexxy, we'll 'Protect' you from those evil touchy men.
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reggie
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« Reply #12 on: 26/04/2009, 11:08 AM »

im drunk. hi uncle dean

I'll believe that when I see it.
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SolidSmiddi
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« Reply #13 on: 26/04/2009, 04:44 PM »

All these posts and no reference to the all important time travel component the infamous "flux capacitor".
- pffft. time travel nubs.
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Virgil83
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« Reply #14 on: 26/04/2009, 05:17 PM »

All these posts and no reference to the all important time travel component the infamous "flux capacitor".
- pffft. time travel nubs.

Honestly Smiddi, noone wanted to discuss your penis and it's contributions to the time travel research over the past few decades... and you had to go bring it up.

Nice nickname for it, by the way Smiley
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