Damit
Getting In there and getting Messy
Clan Captain
Karma: 344
Posts: 6550
Why Are You Reading This!!!
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« on: 07/07/2007, 08:31 PM » |
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Ok post all your jokes here :dthumbup:
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 “You have got to help me. She is trying to kill me with sex. I cannot get out - and I cannot go on!” |
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Noraa78
Legacy Veteran
Karma: 162
Posts: 585
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« Reply #316 on: 09/09/2010, 11:19 AM » |
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I was in Hungry Jacks today when 2 Muslim woman walked in with these brightly coloured head to toe outfits. I thought to myself....WOW the burkas are better at hungry jacks
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 I survived the DI 2011 meet, and all i got was this rash |
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DonutKing
AWARDED - MR DEATH INC 2010 - FOR GAYEST PICTURE IN A THREAD
Legacy Veteran
Karma: 503
Posts: 4229
I could fit two of you in my jeans. Idiot.
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« Reply #317 on: 11/09/2010, 01:49 PM » |
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(this is a New Zulland joke, read it aloud for bist effict)
Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.
Hillen, its the hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy!! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week.
PM: Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. W' ill be ruined.
Hilth Munister: We're going to hef to shup some in from Brutain?
PM: No chence. The Poms will have a field day on thus one.
Hilth Munister: What about Australia?
PM: I'll call Kivin Rudd. Tell hum we need one million condoms, ten enches long and eight enches thuck.
That way they'll continue to respect the "all blacks".
Three days later a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Pist Office.
She finds one million condoms. 10 enches long, 8 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.
MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM
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SolidSmiddi
Legacy Veteran
Karma: 142
Posts: 873
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« Reply #318 on: 13/09/2010, 07:04 AM » |
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A: > Try playing Quake 4 on an Intel Video card. Let us know how you get on.
B: > It looks as good as on an ATI/Nvidia card so far...
B: > Hang on.. frame 2 is coming up.. yup still looks good.
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KARNAGE
AWARD: MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS (26 Aug 2010)
Member
Karma: 44
Posts: 1435
That means I can also think inside the chimney
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« Reply #319 on: 15/09/2010, 04:14 PM » |
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LOVED donuts one (already +1ed you today)
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Moose
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« Reply #320 on: 15/09/2010, 06:04 PM » |
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A wife is really getting the shits with her husband who always rips a massive fart when he wakes up. She always tells him he keeps doing it he'll fart his guts out. Nothing changes. Couple weeks later she's making a roast chicken and she's just pulley out all the chicken guts. She has a thought and puts the guts in her sleeping husbands undies.
She hears him wake up about 30 min and a characteristic fart, then a high pitched scream. He comes down to the table 10 min after in blood stained undies and says "you were right..i did fart my guts out.................but using a couple fingers worth of vaseline i shoved em back in!"
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Project Alpha
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« Reply #321 on: 23/09/2010, 06:00 AM » |
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DID YOU KNOW?
The words race car spelled backwards is race car.
That eat is the only word that if you take its first letter and move to the end it spells the past tense ate.
And have you noticed if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants." and add a few more letters, it spells out:
"Fuck off and go home you free loading, benefit grabbing, kid producing, violent, non-English speaking cocksuckers and take those hairy faced, sandal wearing, bomb making, goat fucking, smelly rag head bastards with you."
How weird is that?
The aboriginal women says to the daughter on her wedding night, "You know dear he is going to want to put his most prized possession in, well you know where you wee." the daughter replies "really, he is going to put his thongs in the sink"
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KARNAGE
AWARD: MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS (26 Aug 2010)
Member
Karma: 44
Posts: 1435
That means I can also think inside the chimney
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« Reply #322 on: 23/09/2010, 01:53 PM » |
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DID YOU KNOW?
"ginger" is an anagram for "nigger"
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Filth123
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« Reply #323 on: 26/09/2010, 01:57 PM » |
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Heres a couple fail jokes i know:
There's an Aboriginal and Lebanese person in a car, who's driving?
The Cop
What do you say when you find your T.V floating at night?
"Drop it, Nigger"
An Aboriginal and Lebanese person both jump off a cliff, who wins?
Society
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cryptochild4
Member
Karma: 52
Posts: 813
I am a very large potato
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« Reply #324 on: 26/09/2010, 03:50 PM » |
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4 abos drive off a cliff in a ford. what's the issue?
it seats 5.
what's the difference between a Jin (abo lady) and a Murray (abo man)?
the Jin has a higher sperm count.
why did the jin cross the road?
to start a fight with a complete stranger for no apparant reason
whats the first question asked on abo trvia night?
what you lookin at ya cunt
whats the most confusing day of the year in an abo community?
fathers day
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Azza
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« Reply #325 on: 26/09/2010, 06:05 PM » |
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some old abo jokes (not to offend)
what do you call an abo going down a slide "sewage"
what do you call abos swiming in a lake "coco pops"
why are abos scared of chain saws "run nigga nigga run nigga nigga"
what do you call a abo priest "holy shit"
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DonutKing
AWARDED - MR DEATH INC 2010 - FOR GAYEST PICTURE IN A THREAD
Legacy Veteran
Karma: 503
Posts: 4229
I could fit two of you in my jeans. Idiot.
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« Reply #326 on: 26/09/2010, 06:24 PM » |
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Gunna shift gears a bit here
How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.
How many white girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, white girls can’t screw.
What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!
What do you call 200 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?
Crackers with cheese.
What does a white woman and a tampon have in common?
Both are stuck up cunts.
Why shouldnt white people go swimming?
Because crackers get soggy when wet.
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Azza
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« Reply #327 on: 26/09/2010, 06:26 PM » |
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hahaha lol nice donutking
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Moose
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« Reply #328 on: 26/09/2010, 09:52 PM » |
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crackers with cheese....i almost threw up
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Filth123
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« Reply #329 on: 29/09/2010, 03:20 PM » |
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Theres 3 people, an American, Mexican and Korean, they stumble accross a magical geany and it grants them 3 wishes, 1 wish each, the Mexican says: I wish for all Mexicans to be in mexico and to be happy
The Korean says: I wish for all Koreans to be in Korea and to be happy
Then the American says: Wait, so you mean to tell me that all the Mexicans and Koreans are out of the country? The geany replies "Yes"
The American then says "Cool, guess i will just have a coke"
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cryptochild4
Member
Karma: 52
Posts: 813
I am a very large potato
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« Reply #330 on: 29/09/2010, 06:32 PM » |
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you took that from the boondock saints
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