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Author Topic: Chalice's Version Of RPG M+ Coarse Language  (Read 27781 times)
Chalice
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« Reply #210 on: 11/01/2011, 11:20 PM »

didnt we pull her eyes out of some shit?

Yes..you poked IT in the right eye..IT's good though as IT has another one and is capable of driving Kiss

You ask her and say "I'd love a little Blumpkin?"...unfortunately due to the loudness of the radio (and her need to be loved) she hears "I Love you pumpkin" and begins to trial her large meaty hands up towards your groin (remember you're naked ppl) , the stench in the car coming from her unwashed body is overpowering.

YOU HAVE 9 TURNS LEFT before getting to the lookout

what do you do?
« Last Edit: 11/01/2011, 11:25 PM by Chalice » Logged


Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
Damit
Getting In there and getting Messy
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« Reply #211 on: 12/01/2011, 12:36 AM »

open the door and jump out
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“You have got to help me. She is trying to kill me with sex. I cannot get out - and I cannot go on!”
Chalice
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« Reply #212 on: 12/01/2011, 09:56 AM »

You go to open the door and jump out of the car...thats doing 100 + km's an hour.

"FUCK IT" you say to yourself....somethings are worth dying to avoid.

You take 3 deep breaths, then lunge for the door handle.........its locked, the car has central locking and she's locked it and childproofed it.

"No no no my little bumpkin, we dont want you to have a hurtsy now do we?" IT says to you

Behind you, you can see police lights closing in on you.

8 TURNS LEFT
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Damit
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« Reply #213 on: 12/01/2011, 02:07 PM »

Pull the hand brake
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“You have got to help me. She is trying to kill me with sex. I cannot get out - and I cannot go on!”
Chalice
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« Reply #214 on: 12/01/2011, 02:10 PM »

You pull the handbrake, causing the car to enter a slide....luckily you dont hit anything when you come to a stop.

Instead...IT's heart is racing and she says "Oh ..I like a daring man..give me a kiss" and you have just allowed the cops to close the gap further.

IT continues driving.



YOU HAVE 7 TURNS LEFT before getting to the lookout (which is where you wanted to go!!!)

What do you do?
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Z00111111
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« Reply #215 on: 12/01/2011, 02:14 PM »

ask to drive so you can "obtain road head".
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Chalice
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« Reply #216 on: 12/01/2011, 02:16 PM »

ask to drive so you can "obtain road head".

(NOW WE"RE THINKING PPL)

You ask to drive hinting that you're feeling a bit frisky and could do with spitting out a "Road Runner" or ten thousand.

IT looks at you in wonder and immediately pulls over the car and gets out.

The cops are closing in fast.

What do you do?
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Z00111111
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« Reply #217 on: 12/01/2011, 02:17 PM »

Switch seats. We're still naked right?
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Chalice
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« Reply #218 on: 12/01/2011, 02:29 PM »

Switch seats. We're still naked right?

(you're naked..she's not and she's out of the car)

You slide into the drivers seat

STILL 7 TURNS BEFORE THE LOOKOUT ...cops closing fast though

what do you do?
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Z00111111
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« Reply #219 on: 12/01/2011, 02:41 PM »

Fine. Ditch oral sex, gun it.
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KARNAGE
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« Reply #220 on: 12/01/2011, 02:43 PM »

Drive off without IT. hopefully the cars will slow down once hitting the walking wall
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Chalice
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« Reply #221 on: 12/01/2011, 02:46 PM »

You hitthe gas and watch as IT runs five steps before coming to a halt panting for air.

You laugh as you see her fade into the distance.

The cops have had enough time to close the gap and are on your bum.

you can keep heading towards the lookout, head towards the suberbs or head into the forest?

What do you do?
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Z00111111
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« Reply #222 on: 12/01/2011, 02:48 PM »

Forest. No-one bad has ever lived in a forest. Plus I don't trust those suburban.. freaks.
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Z00111111
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« Reply #223 on: 25/01/2011, 03:18 PM »

THIS GAME IS BROKEN

*blows Chal's slot*
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Chalice
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« Reply #224 on: 25/01/2011, 04:14 PM »

(Hmm didn't show in unread ..my bad)


You drive into the forest

You've been driving for around 4 hours into the forest along rutted tracks when something gives in the front end and the car lurches off to one side.

You narrowly miss a tree and the car slams into a ditch

Steam begins to pour from under the bonnet.

You open the door and get out

You will need to leave the car as it is too obvious for the police to find.

It will be night soon  and you will need some shelter etc.

ENTER MINECRAFT MODE



(each turn if you want to move must be  "1 step north/sth/east/west" - 1 step equals 1km and takes 1 hour..I have a map drawn out with locations on it, these will be revealed as you hit them..you must now survive in the forest, failure to build a shelter at night = death..failure to find food over 1 week = death ..failure to find water over 3 days = death..all actions will be realistic so if you say "gather branches for fire wood" will take 10 mins as you weren't specific, but will only last 10 mins worth of fire ..say "gather branches and logs for firewood for 1 hour" will provide a nights worth of firewood etc)..have fun

NOTE: FROM NOW ON ONLY SINGLE COMMANDS MAY BE GIVEN..NO LONG SENTENCES ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. JUST LIKE ALL WRITTEN RPG'S ONE COMMAND ONLY, IGNORING THIS WILL RESULT IN - "INVALID COMMAND" BEING SHOWN Cheesy


It will be dark in 3 hours time.

You are naked and standing outside the car.  In your inventory at the moment is an empty pistol and a 2nd pistol with 12 shots in it.

What do you do
« Last Edit: 25/01/2011, 04:18 PM by Chalice » Logged


Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
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