Mining fatality in South Africa

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[cryptochild4]

Hello Chalice,

since you are an expert on all things around the universe i thought i might ask you this. On Friday there was a fatality at the mine i am contracted to in South Africa.....and i am indirectly involved.

I was asked to inspect a pump to see why it was not pumping properly. Upon reaching the site i found that the motor was still fine electrically so using a machine called a manitou (google it) which i operated the pump was lifted and it was found that a gasket was missing on the flange connecting to the pump line. The pump was then placed on the edge of the tank to allow the African work force to add the gasket without having to work in the mud and the filth and also allow them a more ergonomical access point to the pump line. I then advised to Afrikaner shift boss to ensure the suspending chains were re attached so that the pump could not move and upon being verbally advised that he would i left the area for other tasks. Around 2 hours later i was advised that a man had been killed as the pump fell on him, crushing his skull and almost severing his arm. The chains had not be reattached.

After several grilling by the South African department of mines, the local unions (who are very militant and think nothing of killing people), the management of the mine site and other higher ups. i finally got home 21 hours later. The Afrikaners and Africans that were involved in this issue have been giving conflicting and changing stories since the incident occurred.

I am now being told that i will be doing a polygraph test to prove my part in the event,the lawyers will be addressing this issue.

My question is 2 parts, how do i make myself sound/look cool answering a polygraph?(should the lawyers fail) and when i go to Mexico in 2 weeks, what are the best scuba spots in Cozumel?

[Budh]

I think i would be packing my bags to Mexico not for a holiday,to get the fuck out of South Africa and as far away from the polygraph......a South African polygraph can only mean one thing....... get the fuck out of there!!!!

[Splints]

I'd listen to Budh an leave.
The Blacks will be looking to blame a white person, the Whites will be looking for a scapegoat, as a Foreigner you'll suit both sides needs.

On a side note, have been running any marathons lately?

[DonutKing]

Around 2 hours later i was advised that a man had been killed as the pump fell on him, crushing his skull

I guess he'll never be the head of a major corporation

[jazzycat]

Jesus fuck mate, hope the angels kiss your arse at night, best of luck!

[cryptochild4]

if i was truly concerned for my safety or whatever, i have my passport and money, i wouldn't be in Africa anymore

[Syklone]

Around 2 hours later i was advised that a man had been killed as the pump fell on him, crushing his skull

I guess he'll never be the head of a major corporation

DK thats bad form, the poor man will now never get ahead in life and be unable to reach out to support his family as he has now passed.

[Syklone]

An for those who need to know, its a big forlift.

[Lentz]

My wife said, well one less, but more importantly, Cozumel is really pretty, the sand is white and the water is warm but really expensive

[Chalice]

Well Crypto...I'm glad you asked!!!

First of all...the shit you'll do to get head is ridiculous!

Now..onto question A.

Apparantely you can beat a polygraph by inserting a thumb tack into your shoe and when asked the "control questions" (your name etc_ ..press down on the tack, this will constrict your breathing and raise your blood pressure , so any lie you do make (without pressing on the tack) will fall below that line and read as truth..

BUT in this case you have no need to lie, so you just need to act and look cool...I recommend wearing a cream suit, tie undone but on,  NEVER and I mean fucking NEVER take off your sunnies!!  Whether its a non smoking facility or not, conituously smoke and be sure to blow the smoke at the tester before answering any questions...maybe turn the tables and ask the tester whether they've ever killed a man or know what human flesh tastes like...cuz you do...

Shit like that...worst case..freak the fuck out, begin squealing in a high pitch tone constantly then escalate it quickly and loudly whilst ripping off your clothes...shit in your hand, smear it on the 2 way mirror...run to the corner, enter the fetal position, smear it on yourself, eat some if possible...begin rocking.


Onto question 2 ...what are the best spots to scuba dive...easy!

Your hotel room of course, cuz you should be so fucking smashed that you mistake the bathtub for the fukin ocean if youre doing it right



Hope that helps!


Chal

[cryptochild4]

cheers mate helps a lot

[cowcar]

Around 2 hours later i was advised that a man had been killed as the pump fell on him, crushing his skull and almost severing his arm.

So his arm is oK? phew... dodged a bullet with that one (although perhaps dodging a falling pump would be more useful for this guy)

[Number One]

hey Crypto... seriously here.. how are you going.. are you ok..

[cryptochild4]

all good. my trip to mexico is delayed, now its just the waiting game till the investigation is all over. how are you anglo?

but there has been alot of boredom and sitting around, and waiting, some threats of industrial action and strikes. and the department of mines is really sticking it to the company that i am contracted to as they have had 4 fatalities in 3 weeks, 2 at my shaft, the one i was involved in and then a heart attack a week later. at this stage i'm stuck in the country for another 2-3 weeks at least. and i was supposed to leave on sunday, oh well.

[sandman_aus]

Man you get yourself in some dodgy situtions...

I was considering taking a job over there to keep our whole 'small world' thing going... but now, you're on you own dude!

PS... I'll have a drink for you while I'm watching TOOL belt out 'Vicarious', Monday week...
Come to think of it I'll have another right now!