Killing Hijackers

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[darkwolf]

Dear Chalice,

My main steam account which I need to play Dragon Age 2 which i only got on Thursday got hijacked. I want to know if you can locate this hijacker and a firearm so I can execute them and take back my account.

Sincerely Darkwolf

PS If it can be done by tommorow you're more awesome than normal

[Chalice]

Well Darkwolf....I'm glad you asked.

I have a terrible history using Steam..at first I was confused by its name and poured boiling water on my monitor in order to "open up Steam" ..my bad.

Next step..revenge is obviously an understandable feeling at this point and is completely natural, but not productive. 

Now being a hijack specialist I'll need you to answer the below questionairre in order to best deal with the hijackers...I'll need you to be as specific and FACTUAL as possible in order for me to determine whether or not a hijacking has actually occured and if so what steps to take?

Q1 - Are you certain the account was Hijacked? 

Q2 - Has there been a ransom demand yet?

Q3 - When was the last time you saw the account?

Q4 - Was there any suspicious behaviour noted in the account prior to the hijacking?

Q5 - HAve there been any threatening phone calls/letters made to the account?

Q6 - Has there been any sudden depletion of funds in the accounts....account?

Q7 - Have you noticed any suspicious people or vehicles around the account?

Q8 - Has any contact been made with the hijackers after the account went missing?

Q9 - How has the relationship between you and the account been lately?

Q10 - Is it possible the account has left you for another user or gone to its mothers due to any recent arguements etc?

Q11 - Is it possible that the account is feeling used?  Do you demonstrate your affection towards the account?

Q12 - Are you prepared to have your home bugged and watched in case the hijackers make contact?

Q13 - If the hijackers do have a financial demand, how much are you prepared to pay to get the account back?



That SHOULD be enough to get started.  Try and remain calm...I will get your account back in one piece.

Chalice

[inwalda]

lol +1

[IcEd_RuSsIaN]

locating is difficult but i can help with the firearm.

Find you not friendly neighborhood russian and they should be able to supply you with something that goes bang.

Or a lebanese if you want one that has 22" inch cromeeeeeez, dvd deck and a bmw badge on it.

[darkwolf]

+1 for you're tips omniscient chalice but they weren't needed