*Well Dex..if the help threads are lame..why post?*
Well Dex..I'm glad you asked
The solution is in the character of the manager and with that, there are two options that I can see.
But first, lets address the issue. 1. you will always have fuckwit managers in the workforce..get used to it, even if YOU are the manager 2. This guy is complaining about you guys so that if he gets ridden by his manager he can pass teh buck onto you guys. 3. He's an emo fucktard who should just grow some balls and do the job already if he's that fucking depressed or go see a doctor for fuck sakes.
Onto the solution.
Solution number 1.
So this guys a depressed, anti social fucktardian emo huh? Well then the first solution is to actually make him REALLY depressed. You cant bring an emo out of it by being positive..the only way to cure emopathy is to take them to the deepest pits of depression...you cant come back up till you've hit rock bottom with some people.
Here's some ideas...must be made to look like accidents, so that its LIFE getting to him
Kill his cat with a car
Burn his house down, loosen gas hose
Fuck his car up mechanically
Take photo's of his GF in compromising appearing positions with other men
Rape his goldfish
Salt his lawn
Get people to start saying that Jesus loves him
Tell him that black really doesn't suit him and that Green would be more his colouring
Put acid in his eyeliner
These are just some examples, ultimately the goal is to make him so depressed that he gives up on life, stops coming to work and starts wanting to live in the light again.
The second option I have for you is for YOU to start acting depressed around him.
Next time he passes you, sigh really loudly and dramatically..rinse and repeat until he asks why the sigh?
Then in a deadpan voice...cant show emotion, emo's like to believe they have none. Tell him that you're sick to death of colours and smiling creatures on cereal boxes, that twilight is for fags as real vampires would rip off that cunts legs and smack him in the mouth with the soggy ends, that your sick of the US dollar it should make up its fuking mind, the suns too hot, too bright, the birds chirp too much, the smurfs need a smurf plague that wipes the fuckers out, you hate ads unless its ads about make up, that at night you like to run around your neighbourhood naked with painted stripes like a tiger and "territorizing" your neighbours doors, that pacman was eating LSD tablets, tripping out and seeing the fucking ghosts, that you hate the word hello and that ultimately you just wish that the world would implode and form a blackhole taking the moon and mars with us.
If you just rant at him like that..remember no tone. Before you know it, you'll be your fuckwit managers best friend
Well..I'm off to the shopping centre to knee a small child in the face and pretend the kid cut in front of me and I accidentally did it when walking.
Hope that helps,
Chalice
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