Death Inc

The cosmic energy of venus has come to me today and insisted that i start doing horoscopes...so here goes.

Aries - This is a perfect day to cultivate a fantasy and talk to friends or a group of people interested in gimp outfits, leather and chains, invest in some vaseline and a good quality digital camera and let your energy run free. beneficial number is 18 (i.e. must be over 18)

Taurus - This can be an extraordinary day for you career- wise, Taurus. You believe wholeheartedly in your own talents and your ability to fly...so take that leap and become the super hero you've always thought you were. Otherwise please start wearing your underwear on the inside of your pants...seriously, youre embarrassing yourself. Lucky number is 72

Gemini - There's a great deal of inspiring energy in the heavens today....nope thats just birdshit...sorry my bad. Lucky number is 3 but!!!

Cancer - You will cultivate the talents and abilities of another person today with great ease and faith. Oh man i said cultivate a persons talents not plants...dont dob me in to the cops...its your fault you read it wrong. Lucky number is 000...or not

Leo - You've got nothing but positive feelings for a close partner now...just dont let the misses find out otherwise no dodgy horoscope will help your ass out. Lucky number is 85

Virgo - The potential for you to love your work is high today. In fact, you are exceptionally creative in the way you pursue your career ambitions...it's a shame your not a swedish virgin otherwise the porn flicks you make for a living would be worth more. Lucky number is...screw the lucky number the guy who gets paid to shag your sweet ass is the lucky one...prick
(female orientated statement only)

Libra - According to the misses great tampons...what!! they're a star sign too...GTF outta here...really...never knew. Lucky number is...ummm...6

Scorpio - You have amazing vibes with relatives now. They will want you to encourage their talents and you seem to do this with grace and little effort...But do you really think you should be playing with vibes with your folks...twisted dude...twisted. Your not getting a lucky number cause you sicken me...piss off.

Sagitarius - You have a lot of faith in your relationship. It's a good day to communicate your hopes and dreams with a lover...only to find out that she's screwing around on you with all the local boys and that your the laughing stock of your town, cause your misses is a virtual 7 eleven...so much for that faith in your relationship huh?...never mind bro...just thought you should know thats all. You get two lucky numbers mate 14 and 32 you need em.

Capricorn - You have a captivating glow about you today, Capricorn. The potential to shag as many chicks as you can in one day and break your previous record is a distinct possibility so....stick your capricorn in all their virgo's and have one for me. Lucky number is 69...use it.

Aquarius - The energy you have to pursue an artistic passion continues to be dominant. But if your going to do nude paintings...please dont be naked outside my window when i'm showering anymore and FFS please make sure that there is someone actually painting in future. P.s. no more nude little boy paintings either...disturbing dude...not art. Lucky number is 16

Pisces - This could be a day of pure bliss! You know that no matter how bad things get, a guardian angel will always be there to carry you through. That strange mushroom and green speckled cookie you ate this morning has nothing to with you feeling this way...honest. You might want to ignore the angel thats telling you that you can stop speeding cars with a single punch tho FYI. lucky numer is...ahh forget it...you'll only forget it when you come down anyway.

And thats your star guide for today and remember you cant get magical fairy dust by beating up gay people. :dthumbup:

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