Death Inc

Hey there Zombie Enthusiasts

Well guys, this is your place to discuss what you would do in a Zombie Apocalypse.
Where would you go? What would be your weapon of choice? Would you work within a group, or be a lone wolf?

Tell us, but remember this, always give a reason for everything. Dont just say "My House", "A shotgun". Explain your answer. And this is a friendly discussion, dont just reply to someone with the word "No". Explain your response.

Well Guys, Enjoy

If there ever was a  zombie apocalypse the first thing i would do is fetch my grandmother, and then board up my house and cut the power so we don't draw attention to our house. i would prefer an RPG with an ample supply of ammo to blow some shit up.

Within a group it seems safer yet riskier, more chance of rogue goat raping.... chalice. if it would come down to it, i would go solo but wouldn't venture from my safe zone, because i wouldn't be able to lug around all the RPG ammo that was conveniently under my house just for this purpose.

I would go to the top of a tall building that a had a thick steel door for the roof access, throwing curry powder being me to hide my scent, weld the door shut behind me...drill a hole thru it and insert a steel pipe thru it to which I could push IED's that I have pre made..just in case this scenario ever happens...if the zombies happen to track me to the roof and are trying to gain entry.

I would have brought up a swag, some food and water, as much petrol as I could possibly bring up, a large supply of magic mushy's, superman comic,  combat shotty, sword and of course my .308 rifle that fires lovely 7.62 mm rounds and of course a camping chair.

Being so high my scent would be carried away on the wind, so i'd remain pretty undetectable to smell...doesn't really matter, because my actions would be pretty noticible to sight.

You see, I would sit on a camp chair on the edge of the building and using a scoring system to keep myself occupied mentally so i dont go insane...er....I would shoot the fucking zombies one by one and drop molotovs on them from the top of the highrise.

Once I ran out of food i'd take the window cleaning thingy down to the ground level and bring up one of the burnt BBQ zombies..good eating AND pre cooked.

Once I ran out of supplies and death was imminent i'd eat as many magic mushy's as possible, whilst waiting for it to kick in i'd read the superman comic and once i'm tripping hard i'd "fly superman..fly"

I would grab my self an APC fill it with supplies, then head on over to uluru and build my self a base there, then i would build a quarantine room, depending on the virus in question people who come to me will spend the needed amount of time in that room. i would shot al fugly people before they could get close, cause i reckon it'd be maybe hard to tell the diffrence between them and a zombie, but all hot chicks will be allowed to come close. I then would slowly build an army with strict procdures, then go about eradicating the zombies in aus, and i would also choose the 11 hottest and sexiest women in my group to be my sex slaves, they will have no contact with any one as soon as they pass qaurintined, hhm also my weapon of choice would be a barret and a m9 at my side, but i would als o wear a suit of armor and have a sword or chain saw...  hmmmm maybe a few grenades, and maybe some uavs at my disposal. then if we start running out of oil, would invde timor and kill all the zombies there and then i have an oil supply :), but again this all depends on what types of zombies they are.

I'd get two mates and head to the local shopping center and grab all the food and other necessary items I can fit in my car. I would then go to my local Bunnings and use all the wood and metal to block off all possible entrances. I'd then assemble an arsenal of interesting machines and tools for mashing up zombies. Using the tall Bunnings shelves I'd set up camp on top of them just in case zombies manage to get in the shop. Once camp is set up i'll hook up the Bunnings PA system so I can draw the attention of nearby zombies letting them into a sectioned off area of the shop surrounded by a large fence where I could take on zombies. This would keep me and my mates sane and stop us trying to kill each other. oh and no guns. Just sharp objects and blunt forced trauma.

then again, this raises the question what if your mates are already zombies, what if your the only one left non-zombie like?

If I were in a zombie apocalypse I would be happy of the fact that zombie's cannot exist.

a definition of a zombie is something without its own mind so the only thing close to that is a retarded person which we all know if they didn't have helpers they would all die of starvation by themselves.

although in some rare strange ass occasion where they could survive I would do either 2 things.

1. I would be in a very open area, so if ever zombies come my way I could notice them and take out them mofos. I would take with me all things that are flammable and explosive, a variety of sniper rifles and a lot of ammo for them. and for up close I would have an m16, big ass axe and sword like the demo in TF2, and a really hard bible cause getting smacked by one like that hard can hurt BAD. I would be nomadic cause if there are several zombie corpses that will draw attention. I would do my best to find a deserted island cause zombies cant swim and they'll drown.

2. I will build a great big thick as hell metal underground area thats impossible to penetrate without some REALLY powerful force put into it which zombies cannot do. I would then comb my hair in such a way that I would look like this
(http://sjuonlinenews.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/vault-boy.jpg)
then when possible I would create a plane remote controlled by me with a nuclear bomb on it, then let it go and every one of them would be killed. then I could leave if I wanted and only have to worry about growing 3 extra arms due to radiation.

there is a guide book about this right?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Zombie_Survival_Guide

i dont think i would have much to to worry about with zombies. now vampire's, werewolves and demons, i might need some help with.

but with zombies, i just fit the Armour on, pick up one or two of my fave swords, axe's or i could use my nice old warhammer and have a ripping time smashing the undead.

This thread was half inspired by that book Anglo :)

Check this link out , it looks like it would be an awsome weekend of fun.

http://humansvszombies.org/ (http://humansvszombies.org/)

I'd grow a shitload of plants on my lawn and in my pool. (Explanation - Plants vs Zombies)

Would zombies get high if I burnt weed crops out the front of my safe house? Zombies already stumble around pretty bad, i think it could be a good defense if they're all just laying on the ground trippin. Just gotta get moving before they get the munchies I guess. 

LOL +1

i would get wat ever weapon i could find and not sure if i go with people cose they tend to do stupid shit and people die because of it so lone wolf is good.
As far as hiding place goes i would keep on the move so they wouldnt get overwhelm me

oh, I totally forgot about other people, i guess if I found anyone I would take them with me, but if they screw around and cause bad shit I think i might have to separate with them.....with one of my bombs :)

There is only one way to survive, and that's in a four man wolf pack.

What type of zombies we talking about here
Shaun of the dead or 28 days later

i was going with resident evil zombies :P but shawn of the dead ones would make it like a fun-apocalypse

thats why i asked as a zombie apocalypse with Shawn of the dead style zombies would be s fun and less scary as well you could out pace all of them by walking normally

I would find myself a nice twin mast yatch. Pack it with some fuel, food, water etc. And sail out to some blue yonder with the family. Do some fishing, watch the shore line with some powerful binoculars and check to make sure any fucker tries to come my way gets eaten by sharks and other nasties.

And to encourage the sharks, throw a few dead fish and guts over board now and then. If a zombie does some how come my way - carry a shot gun (cut down cause your on a boat, thats right I am on a boat mother fucker, we're on a boat - sing with, I am on a boat..... err sorry off track)

Ahem - shot gun - cause on a boat its all up close and personal and maybe a rifle of some type. Spear guns and flares can be handy / neat to have around.

Alternatively I would find a nice field some where and place heaps of land mines, then find some sorry ass politician - Conroy preferred - and then grab a bunch of zombies and put numbers on each one. Then play bingo.

Thats right bitches I would play zombie bingo. For each zombie that goes and tries to get Conroy and hits a land mine - I would mark its number off on my bingo card. If I ever made it to bingo, I would let Conroy make it to round 2. If a zombie made it to Conroy, well thats just shit out of luck for him.

Then we would move on to round two, where we then upgrade the game from Bingo to Catch n Kiss - where I would strap Conroy to radio controlled vehicle with his naked ass in the air and I would drive it around the field (yes there may be some land mines left from the previous game) and the zombie that catches up with the vehicle can kiss and eat out Conroys ass. If again no zobies make it to Conroy and hit the land mines, well thats just crap cause I would just get bored and walk away by then....

But thats my plan so far... still working on game 3.

i would either..
1. attach my self to a male-hero figure and play the damsel in distress to the best of my ability
or
2. run around screaming and be among the first to die :)

Apocalypse, no it would be the solution to our problems

Human evolution, many troublesome illnesses would be eliminated i.e. Asthma, Obesity, Dementia, myopia, old age as the people suffering from these terrible afflictions would be quickly eliminated, thus ensuring a healthier human population that is super fast, smart, and doesn't get old.

Health insurance would be cheaper, cause if there is something wrong with you see above.
Global warming, Zombies like to eat people but can survive seeming indefinitely without eating them and still run for miles chasing bedraggled people so imagine what 100's of them could do  on a treadmill (see Oliver) connected to a generator with a single human overseer to chase or maybe a dirty sock if they work on smell.

Transport, imagine a 100ZP charger, no smelly exhaust or annoying flat batteries, just inexhaustible zombie power

But should my Zombietopia not come to pass I might do the following.
Dress up like zombie, make up and all
Do the Zombie shuffle to the golf course and play a round every morning (see ZombieLand)
Stop off at the shop and loot some food from the super market
Followed by the bottle-O for booze.
Then off to take advantage of any young nubile Zombies I find wandering around by giving them free booze. Cause face it a Zombie is too stupid to figure out it does not need id to get booze any more. Missionary is out though