Death Inc

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it later.

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's messed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to smash her box. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was messed up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out on a sail boat (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

hehe nice

on a similiar note http://www.everybodysucksbutus.com/darth-vader-facebook/

Thats brilliant

Lol nice twist

lol

I was well worried at the start, my friends think DI is wierd now  :PDT_Armataz_01_12:

Gold!!

only NOW do the think Di is wierd, wow, they know NOTHING of us. oh, is this  real story (with you) because if so i don't think this is quite the laughing matter, and i'll feel like a bastard if it is real

Rofl. I was like, Doesnt Donuts parents have a farm or something. Then I was like 8O
Then I lol'd

Jstar that was perhaps the geekiest thing i have ever read

you idiot, read the ending. XD

Leia isnt hot....
wtf you on about...

lol

(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/5/52/Double-facepalm.jpg)

donut, you should be flattered, he thought your father was darth vader!

actually I'd be very surprised if he managed to arrive at that conclusion  :o

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahaha Karnage...

+2 to Donut one for the story and one for the perfect response to this.

when it's titled "i have to get something off my chest" and you hardly said anything about it not being you. TBH i thought you were a bit inbred, ivan's tasmanian and he thought you were wierd

dude that's the entire premise of the joke

(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/e/ea/TripleFacePalm.jpg)


I have a quadruple facepalm image too.... don't make me use it :P

karnage obviously isnt that bright :P

LOL! +1, great call.

I think that the story was from 4Chan. There's this Pokemon which is a ripper.

Lies!

Although her mum does it for me more.

*shakes head at all you fuckers...walks away*

im smart enough to know there's nothing wrong with this
(http://www.scififx.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=79&stc=1&d=1259644315)

You might have been reprieved if it wasn't for the fact that the original trilogy > prequel trilogy

Therefore Leia is superior to Padme

Empire Strikes Back is, and always shall be, my personal favourite.

Return of the jedi wtf

as good as the original trilogy is i prefer the 2nd and 3rd for two reasons:

1. The graphics look so much better especially with the fight scenes
2. Yoda isnt a puppet so he can do cool shit

The 2nd is my favourite of the new trilogy as the clones simply kick ass. 'Nuff said.

Yes the new trilogy has better graphics but you gotta admit... for a 30-year old movie it looks pretty fucking good. Have a look at other movies/TV shows from the same era and even into the late 80's and they don't look as good. The original trilogy has dated exceptionally well.

And WTF is with yoda doing ninja shit, he ambles around the rest of the time and suddenly he pulls these sick moves out of his ass.
And let's not forget the worst part of the new trilogy.... darth vader's little tantrum: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

LOL, i've seen tv shows in the 90s that look worse than the original trilogy. sure, that was the better trilogy, but that doesnt mean the other one was shit, i quite liked it, although i still wanna know how obi wan and anakin both had blue lightsabers (meaning apprentice i think) and yet they were considering anakin to be a master. WTF?

karnage, please dont talk about what you dont know...

The lightsabre colours do not represent master/apprentice

Green is for a thinker - someone who has thoughts inward about the force

blue - jedi warrior - less time for thought would rather fight

etc

the only ones i know of are from kotor and the movies:

red - sith
blue - jedi guardian
green - jedi sentinel (i think)

then theres all the other colours like purple, orange, yellow, silver and black. Then there is some variations in kotor 2 there is the green one and i think there is another but i cant remember havent played it in a while.

pretty sure i got all the colours are there any more dex?

I thought it was just the type of crystal used in constructing the lightsaber that gave its colour? Sith tended to have Red ones because they favoured/only had access to a particular type of crystal

hmm this seems to agree
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber

geek is so thick in the air I can barely breathe

You think that's air you're breathing now?

(more likely, its the burrito I had for breakfast)

Fuck me donut, thats one massive long rank you have.
and  the colour comes from the crystal, but you choose your cristal based on your preference

don't worry dex. It's not the size that matters but how you use it

I never thought it was possible to find a group of people who thought the new star wars movies weren’t complete tripe outside of Lucas Ranch. They are quite possibly the worst collection of scenes commited to film since I filmed myself with randomizers mum giving her a cleavland steamer.  And I think the main character in that little home production was more endearing to the viewer than any of the prequel characters , even if it was a giant , steaming turd.

Seriously they would be the worst trilogy ever made, even beating other notable contenders , such as the Matrix (the first was good), and of course, the “2 gay hobbits go playing with their rings in the woods”  bore-fest that is Lord of the Rings (there is 9 hours of my life I wont get back..)

In short, anyone who likes those movies who is not George Lucas should seriously have their brain looked at, as there is something wrong.
And here is a visual reminder of one of the cinematic classic characters those movies introduced to the world:




(http://www.timeaftertimetoys.com/images/OSITpicks/STAR%20WARS/SPECIAL/SWE1%20JAR%20JAR%20BINKS%20POSTER.jpg)

agreeing with a cowcar post

except for one point: the first LotR was good because it had Sean Bean in it (aka Richard Sharpe)




I've gotta say though... the prequel trilogy, as far as star wars goes, leaves much to be desired. I saw all 3 new ones at the movies... 1st one left me feeling like they were just 'spooling up' for the next two, 2nd was crap- I left disappointed, 3rd was more of the same and was only saved by the fact that it had Darth Vader in it and we finally got to see how he became what he is. Was kinda disappointing though in that the extended star wars universe had already kinda accepted that he was nearly killed in a fighter crash, not in same lame jedi battle where he falls into lava.

But if you watch them as an independent series in their own right they are ok. Still not brilliant, but better than a lot of other movies. I got Attack of the Clones on DVD for xmas and when I watched it, I just forgot everything I knew about star wars and it was more enjoyable.

but yeah, jar jar binks is pretty unforgivable

I tend to agree with regards to the first ones, I am not a huge fan of them either, but they are serviceable.

On the LOTR front, I think the problem isn’t the movies themselves, I found the books terribly long and boring too, so I blame JR Tolkien more than I do PJ.

But the final 3 star wars I put in a basket of “ should never have been made”.  Recent additions to this category also include Indianna Jones and the Crystal skull, a vile abomination of a film that  if I had to choose between eating my own poo or watching that movie again, I would ask for a napkin.

Oh OK so you don't really like star wars that much...
I loved the original trilogy but the prequel trilogy is merely OK. I thought you shared a similiar view  :-*

I agree about Crystal Skull though, that movie sucked. Aliens and Indiana Jones just do not work together.
Plus the fact that they had the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in any movie right at the start... where he survives a nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge and getting hurled through the air and then smashing into the ground.

nerdhater-ville
population: cowcar

XD

starwars was a good movie imo, alot of pew pew and zap zap n stuff. full of eye candy for the fapped-out viewer.

I watched the Phantom Menace about six mnths ago, and what really struck me, wasn't the film, but the making of. It was quite good, not a mutual masturbation like they often are(they are incredible talented, I'm so lucky to work with them etc etc), but more like a proper documentary. The film crew followed George around, and filmed daily happenings....the best scene in teh whole thing was at the first test viewing, it was George and the higher ups from the production team.....the look on their faces after they watched the first cut was classic. The viewing room was just dead silent after the lights came on.....then George says... I think we might have gone to far......beautiful candid reactions, you could see they all knew it was a stinker.

They aren't that bad, they aren't great, but I've seen much worse....in my opinion you haven't seen bad until youve seen this one

(http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/coverv/31/209331.jpg)

Worst movie ever.

ill make a note not to watch that one then

Hairspray...to me, THAT was the worst movie ever

worse movie by my standards is the The Rocky Horror Show oh god that is bad

Tolkien really does crap on alot in the books. The dialogue in them can be really terrible. I actually like the LoTR movies, they're much better than the books, and I don't mind that the extended versions crap on for 12 hours all up.

better than reading the books for weeks you still get the storyline from the movies

I actually like the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I saw the Rocky Horror Show when it was being performed at the theatre at Star City. BEFORE Grettle Kolleen became the criminologist...

LOTR - books were rather boring, but the movies were very polished and A LOT of effort went into them - unlike nearly all movies nowadays.

Indiana Jones - the only reason I can think of for them ever finishing that is to leave a door open for Harrison Ford to walk out of while they can keep the series half-alive (WHICH THEY SHOULDN'T). Harrison Ford is too old, so they made a bridging movie for his prospective replacement.

One thing in favour of the new Star Wars trilogy - some games related to it, Battlefront 1 & 2 (without the clones vs droids they wouldn't be so great). Heck the idea of a prequel movie *may* have spawned the idea for the super-prequel of a game that is KotOR.

One a slight side-note; a recent movie I love is "Shoot 'Em Up". So long as you don't expect anything more sophisticated than a bad plot and LOTS OF COOL GUNFIGHTS (however cheesy, cliche etc), then it's a pretty damn good movie.