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Title: Dear Chalice Post by: Jakes2142 on 16/07/2009, 02:56 PM Dear Chalice
Recently my computer has been making groaning noises at me, this is annoying, my quick remedy involves spanking the computer quite thoroughly, this stops the groaning for a while but it comes back, i would like advice on a permanent remedy. Your Loyal and Devoted Fan Jakes2142. Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: Noraa78 on 16/07/2009, 03:24 PM *puts $10 on the fact that this solution with have something to do with umpa lumpa's*
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: Chalice on 16/07/2009, 05:15 PM Hi Jakes....and thanks for the question,
There are 3 possible reasons why your computer makes groaning noises. 1. Its getting old and feeling aches and pains in its joints...so download my patented antiarthritis v1.6 and that should solve that...but you need to emotionally prepare for its eventual death my friend. 2. It has gas or is conspipated...so I recommend getting so really strong laxative, opening up your cd/dvd drive and pouring it in. 3. Have you considered that it may enjoy being spanked? and the groans you are hearing are groans of pleasure? In which case, i suggest you get really twisted and kinky on the little fucker..make a little maids outfit and put it on it..bring out some rope, a strap on and a blow up Wii and let the love fly. The aim is to get it that disgusted by its behaviour that it stops enjoying it and just does its job. Hope that helps, Chalice P.s. A 4th solution could be to hire an Oompa Loompa to tinker with it..those little turds can fix anything :D Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: shadowice558 on 16/07/2009, 05:28 PM it sounds like it needs a pacemaker...
open it up and stick a magnet on the powersuply. Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: Chalice on 16/07/2009, 05:37 PM OI get ur own advice thread, this one's copyrighted :D
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: MrX on 04/08/2009, 11:59 AM LOL
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: KARNAGE on 12/08/2009, 05:20 PM LOL, so funny
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: mandatory05 on 12/08/2009, 07:14 PM +1 Chal...
WRECKED SHADOW!!! Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: shadowice558 on 12/08/2009, 09:02 PM how did i get wrecked when chal basicly just gave me permission to start my own advice thread...
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: mandatory05 on 13/08/2009, 08:51 AM damn... good call....
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: Chalice on 13/08/2009, 10:58 AM how did i get wrecked when chal basicly just gave me permission to start my own advice thread... Try it bitch....I WILL SUE YOUR ARSE OFF MOTHERFU^%ER :D Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: shadowice558 on 13/08/2009, 03:02 PM well chal, it seems like you are having some copyright protection problems.
my advice involves a fleshlight, rope, lube and a cucumber and some super glue. first you have to find the adress of whoever is violating copyright. once you have that you have to go there and stalk him untill you find some information about his loved one. once you have that befrend the man keeping yopur true identity a secret for as long as it takes to get enough trust. then secretly sew the seeds of a breakup between him and his loved one. once that happens and after you've murdered all of his other friends he will come crying to you for help. get him drunk and wait for him to pass out. once that has happened its time to strip him of his clothes and fill the fleshlight with super glue. once done attach it as you would normally attach one of the. then use the leftover glue to mix with the lube and now insert the cucumber up the fuckers ass. take lots of photo's before you proceed to the next step. now take him outside and tie him to a lightpole. the end. Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: bray182 on 13/08/2009, 03:06 PM wow Chal looks like your a trend setter lol
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: Z00111111 on 13/08/2009, 04:18 PM I'm a little worried that Shadowice is actually requesting Chalice do that to him...
Chal is a fucked up mother fucker, but in a good way. That shit was just wrong Shadow... Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: KARNAGE on 13/08/2009, 04:31 PM thats just freaky and wrong
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: Dex on 13/08/2009, 04:32 PM you should see a psychologist about that shadow...
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: Chalice on 13/08/2009, 04:57 PM See me instead...I'm willing to do it :D
Title: Re: Dear Chalice Post by: KARNAGE on 13/08/2009, 04:58 PM lol
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