Death Inc

A  duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham  sandwich.
The barman  looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a  duck."
 
"I see  your eyes are working," replies the duck.
   
"And you can talk!" exclaims the  barman.
 
"I see  your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich  please?"
 
"Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he  pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in  this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
 

"I'm working on the building  site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
 
The  flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to  learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a  newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read  it.
 
So, the duck  reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids  the barman good day and leaves.
   
The same thing happens for two weeks.
   
Then one day the circus comes to town.
 
The  ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says  to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know  this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He  talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
 
"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over  his business card. "Get him to give me a call."
 
So the  next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,  "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
   
"I'm always looking for the next  job," says the duck. "Where is it?"
   
"At the circus," says the  barman.
 
"The  circus?" repeats the duck.
   
"That's right," replies the  barman.
 
"The  circus?" the duck asks again. "That place with the big  tent?"
 
"Yeah,"  the barman replies.
 
"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the  duck.
 
"Of  course," the barman replies.
   
"And the tent has canvas sides  and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists  the duck.
 
"That's  right!" says the barman.
   
The duck shakes his head in  amazement, and says .. . ..
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"What the f*** would they want with a plasterer??!"

lol

Quack Quack...mother fucker :D

+1