Death Inc

General Forum => Funnies, Media and SPAM => Topic started by: Virgil83 on 07/02/2009, 01:20 PM



Title: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Virgil83 on 07/02/2009, 01:20 PM
THE UNITED KINGDOM:

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
 
FRANCE:

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are
"Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military capability.
 
ITALY:

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has
increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate
Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations"
and "Change Sides."
 
GERMANY:
 
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
 
BELGUM:

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
 
SPAIN:
 
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
 
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA:
 
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their
allies, just in case.


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Chalice on 07/02/2009, 03:42 PM
lol...pretty accurate stuff that


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: RoBB_NZL on 07/02/2009, 03:49 PM
hahaha i do wonder where you get all of this :D


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Chalice on 08/02/2009, 02:14 AM
Virgil is former ASIO..head of the AntiDecafeCoffee Dept...so he's expertise in this matter is unquestionable and I for one thank him for sharing Govt secrets


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Virgil83 on 08/02/2009, 06:45 AM
Since we're telling former job secrets Chalice, I might just have to let the boys know that you're a former MI-6 (British Intelligence) operative...

I've heard from my contacts over there that you had a rather strange way of introducing yourself, based on the ol' James Bond movies no doubt...

I heard that your alias intro was usually:  "Why hello there!  Do I make you horny baby?  My name is... Shagger, Goat Shagger and I'm gonna rock your pet's world, Baby"


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Chalice on 10/02/2009, 01:54 PM
Ohhh now you've gone and done it...now Norton thinks he's just an assignment
*Calls out "Oh Norton dont be like that, come back to bed...Norton"*


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Ametros on 12/02/2009, 03:22 PM
Ok, so far in the few days I've been with Death Inc., I have gathered that Norton is a goat and seems to be everybody's bed buddy.

Please tell me it isn't compulsory for all members to have a relationship with said goat. NO CHALICE, I AM NOT INVITING YOU TO SAY IT IS COMPULSORY!!!

PS, Don't you guys want more Norton to yourselves?


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Chalice on 12/02/2009, 03:27 PM
You dont know what your missing out on...you'll come knocking on Nortons one day...everyone does, though robazoo seems to do it more often than most!!


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Z00111111 on 12/02/2009, 03:31 PM
To pass the trial, Norton has to orgasm.

Robazoo keeps at it because he still hasn't given Norton the big o.


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Chalice on 12/02/2009, 03:32 PM
LOL ZOO, great call


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Noraa78 on 12/02/2009, 03:56 PM
ROFL
 :dthumbup:  :laugh2:  :dthumbup:


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: RoBB_NZL on 12/02/2009, 03:58 PM
lol i have to use an inflatable chailce to get him to put out :P


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: RoBB_NZL on 12/02/2009, 04:22 PM
i swear to god chalice im find your house and take a huge dump on your door step then rub the excess all over your windows


Title: Re: Military Alert Levels around the World
Post by: Chalice on 12/02/2009, 11:19 PM
lol i have to use an inflatable chailce to get him to put out :P

GREAT CALL ROFL...good work  :dthumbup: