Death Inc

So I come home from a week of 14 hour work days to find this in my letterbox

(http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/9564/letterek8.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

To give it some context, the street I am living on is a cul desac, and my place is right at the end of it. The three blocks at the end of the street are are triangle shaped, and the only frontage is the driveway.

(http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/9260/foveaxzx0.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

Since I am sharing a house with my parents and their three cars and trailer, there is no room left for me in the driveway, so I park halfway down the street.

I'm at a loss.

They clearly know that you have nowhere to park out the front of your place since they dropped a letter off. That's retarded. Maybe go round and explain to them you have nowhere else to park and will set fire to them in their sleep if they don't stop hassling you about it. Fire solves everything.

yeah, fire solves everything!
What about one of them roof racks with a hunting post so someone drives while the other hunts?

Write back and tell them she's your wife. ;)

oh.. and read this

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

naf's right, you could take the same approach, make a drawing of a spider and offer it to them as payment for use of car parking space outside of their home... :)

Or just, bomb the fuck out of their letterbox.

Are there any old people living nearby? They'd probably be more likely to let you park out the front if you explain your circumstances. And then get your wife to show them her tits

NEWS JUST IN:
Bageled takes out restraining order on Z00 on behalf of his wife.

:)

Anyway...  aren't you moving this weekend bageled? Be sure to park the moving truck out the front of their house with both your and your wifes car.

I had tears running down my face at that spider story.

I had something similar happen about a week ago.

A courier company cold called a few months back, and offered me a free delivery to anywhere in sydney to test their service. So I used them once then didn't use them again. A few weeks later, their accounts department rings me and asks me when I 'm going to pay the $12 I owe them I told him I had no intention of paying, and explained the free offer their sales rep had made. Then a few weeks ago, maybe a month after the first call, they call again and tell me that his general manager has reviewed the case and decided to pursue payment. My account was now $22 due to late fees. I spoke to my accounts department/my dad, who took launched a counter attack. He rang up the courier company and explained to them that since he had retired recently, he had nothing better to do with his time and would be more than happy to take the isssue to the department of fair trading. Dads rant continued as he began calculations about how much the time he would cost them, and how much that would cost the courier company in wages.

I got an email 30 minutes later saying they had credited me the $22.

I walked into the office halfway through this, and was laughing for pretty much the whole day.

Nah fuck that shit bageled, my little budy. Sammy to the rescue! Remember my friend i am on my way next weekend.

I am more than happy/willing to kick the living fuck out of these retards at NO EXPENSE TO YOU OR YOUR FAMILY. Also consider it a pleasure for me to proceed to jam 1 said keyboard right up ol mates ass!

Once i have finished stuffing this fucking chicken,i will proceed to his wife,who obvisouly wears the pants and is the man in thier twisted little sad exsistance.

I shall endeavour to ram the mouse fair up her puss! Now the puss has been feed a nice a tasty little mouse,they as a couple will completly understand that there is fuck all room in your street. You are not doing this to upset them nor their wanker friends, tool squeezer relo's or neighbours.

If all of this fails, which i doubt i will proceed to burn their house down and give them a voucker to Vinnies.


Sincerly and much <3

Sammy the Fixer  8)

naf that is simply awesome1 i had tears running down my face! Simply GOLD!

sammy's solutions always work  :dthumbup:

I am here to plaese :)

ROFL... just... ROFL!

back to the issue at hand - first check the law in regards to parking. Then polietly mail them back outlining the road rules and that your parking habits are witin the law. If they have a problem with these laws take it up with the RTA. I would also include the RTA's postal address for their convenience.

you could do that smiddi or you could take the easy way out and follow zoo's example

there is only one reply that can be made to that letter, and i'll let this vid give you the idea  :PDT_Armataz_01_12:

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=p4jdRfnsqCs

I'm going to do something totally out of character here and be serious.

It is strange, i live in an exact same location except i am where the complainants are.
here's a decent option after reviewing your street plan, looking at it from above park your car in the court on the upper left hand side of the curvature...above the left/top most driveway...or on the right hand side, trees are blocking that view partially but the same should apply...this way the neighbours can get out of their driveways and turn easily using the court and its not directly in front of their homes.

alternatively 2 options...1. leave your car their with a sign in the passenger window saying "Fuck Off no .19"...2. leave your car there and walk to it every morning in your jocks with a raging boner and politley wave to the wife saying "what time does craig start work again love?"

I also note that they have a pool...sneak in at night and swap the + for the - on the pump...this generally reverses the flow i.e. instead of sucking up the water and cycling it back thru it causes the overflow to engage and will continously suck the pool dry and spit it out all over their nice landscaped back yard...result - swamp land  :whistle:

Spraypaint the word "DICKHEAD" in 6 ft letters on the road with an arrow pointing to their house.
- then sit back and enjoy the next update to google maps.

lmao coffee came out my nose

Oh ROFL!  Very much ROFL indeed... +1 Karma for that excellent suggestion

Unconcetrated roundup, spray "no parking" on nature strip, just to let the neighbourhood know, so it doesnt upset any one..

ooohhh thats good

dude get a paper bag put dog shit in it and the letter and put it in front of the door ring the bell set it in fire so when they open the door and try to put it out with the feet then they will know that the latter was a  load of smoking smelly shit!

I recomend jaming a whole pile of crap (plastic bags leaves sticks etc) into their storm water feed to the gutter i.e. little drian coming out of gutter. make sure you jam it up there with a big stick further up the better.
This should have the following effects
1. cause a blockage
2. cause water to back up into their down pipes
3. if your lucky cause flodding inside their house
4. cause them to have to call the plumber to clear it out
5. leave little to no evdience that it was you that did it
6. not cause a street war. or legal action

or if you dont care about repercussions.
get a small can of expando foam tie the trigger down and jam it in the drain. they will need a jack hammer to remove it.

Then park your car there again and then drive the patrol for a month

smiddi is a god

A good plumbers trick is pour quick set cement down their Boundary trap.
They will have to dig up about 6 foot of earth jack hammer the boundary up, replace the sewer line.
Costs of well over 2 grand and very easy to do..
I have a lot of things like this that we get up to when the fuckers don't pay up..

You can sneak round at night and take their hot water system.. pretty expensive and easy to disconnect. ( you can use it in ur next job to if it is a decent one like a Rheem)

You can get super glue and super glue all their key wholes up.. watch them get into their house now!

I like Carples Idea of the sticks and stuff thats good too.

You could buy a box of tampons and do the same thing, tampons are ALOT more effective at blocking stuff and if you put enough down their you can't get them out. Requiring either a water jet ($$$) or a new downpipe.!

Leave dead animals on their front doorstep from time to time.

Lube on the door handle to the house and car.

ORR Get him to come outside, Carples sits on the roof.. you walk backwards a little then Carples sprays him with super glue and you jam down an afro wig and run away laughing.
he then tries to explain in his next media confrence why his hair is the way it is..
(maybe done on simpsons?)

roundup in their rainwater tank works well too. Their plants will start to look brown, so they water them some more. After a few weeks they will have a dirt lawn. 

OR

Drop a few marijuana seeds in their garden. Once they grow to a decent height, call the cops as a "concerned" neighbour.
 
.........I have plenty more :)

.

Omg you guys are good!

i had a similar situation to this bageled. Me and some mates were renting a house. We used to have quite a few visitors, all who had driven, so car parks out the front were at a premium. In particular, the guy across the road complained because people would park opposite his driveway , which made it a little more difficult  i suppose for him to reverse out.
All fair enough, and when he mentioned this, we said to him that we wouldnt park there, but you know, we arent the only ones. He got pretty narky about the thing. Then one day, sitting inside and a little "whacky", get this loud banging at the front door. The dude across the roads daughter, (who wasnt a looker i will add), had reversed up the driveway and smashed into "one of your cars that is parked illegally".
A little alarmed, and kinda paranoid, i head outside, thinking the stupid bitch had somehow reversed into my car. She got really angry when i got out there, saw she hadnt hit my car, but the car of some guy visiting our neighbour. It was a brand new, and i mean brand new, straight from the dealership, WRX. Upon seeing this, and her screaming at me that it was my fault, i burst out laughing, and said "not my car stupid bitch", and walked back inside.. to roll up a little after argument relaxation...
so, in the long winded story i just told, my advice is to ignore it. Also, i am quite surprised no one has mentioned that you are 30 years old and living at home with your mom and dad. Are you still being breast fed?

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3258/2835157076_c74614c0bd.jpg?v=0)

http://www.ratemyeverything.net/post/10838/I_Still_Live_With_My_Parents_T-shirt.aspx

He lives with his wife/gf too I think.

nice try on the deflection zoo, jusdt remember dont pass out around sammy this weekend :0

yeah, he is married. So now he has two sets of breasts telling him what to do. (whip noise)

to roll up a little after argument relaxation
Also, i am quite surprised no one has mentioned that you are 30 years old and living at home with your mom and dad. Are you still being breast fed?

classic cow car classic LOL