Death Inc

I have nothing to verify the story, but have a read and tell me it wasn't written by a yank.


Pocket  Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased
his  lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted  this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn  Shop that sparked
my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary  and I was looking for
a little something extra for my wife Julie. What  I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects  of the Tazer were
supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse  affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to  safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device  and brought it home.
I
loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing  and pushed the but ton.
Nothing!
I was disappointed. I learned,  however, that if I pushed the button AND
pressed it against a metal  surface at the same time; I'd get the blue
arc of electricity darting  back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have  yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on
the face of her  microwave.  Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy,
thinking  to myself that it  couldn't be all that bad with only two
triple-A  batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking  on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions  and thinking that I
really needed to try this thing out on a flesh  & blood moving target. I
must admit I thought about zapping Gracie  (for a fraction of a second)
and thought better of it. She is such a  sweet cat. But, if I was going
to give this thing to my wife to protect  herself against a mugger, I did
want some assurance that it would work  as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and  a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of  my nose, directions in one
hand, and Tazer in another.
The  directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient
your  assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms
and a  major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would
purportedly  make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of
water. Any  burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
batteries. All the  while I'm looking at this little device measuring
about 5' long, less  than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really
and (loaded with two  itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself,
'no possible way!'   What happened next is almost beyond description, but
I'll do my  best.?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head  cocked to one
side as to say, 'don't do it dipsh!t,' reasoning that a  one second burst
from such a tiny little ol' thing couldn't hurt all  that bad. I decided
to give myself a one second burst just for heck of  it. I touched the
prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .  .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . .
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . .
WHAT  THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure The Hulk ran in through the side door,  picked me up in
the recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet, over  and over and over
again.
I vaguely recall waking up on my side in  the fetal  position, with tears
in my eyes, body soaking wet, both  nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to
be found, with my left arm tucked  under my body in the oddest position,
and tingling in my  legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before,  clinging to
a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in  an attempt to
avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the  living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself  with a Tazer, one
note of caution: there is no such thing as a one  second burst when you
zap yourself!
You will not let go of that  thing until it is dislodged from your hand
by a violent thrashing about  on the floor. A three second burst would be
considered  conservative?

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a  relative thing at
that point), I collected my wits (what little I had  left), sat up and
surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were  on the mantel of
the fireplace.
The recliner was upside down and  about 8 feet or so from where it
originally was.  My triceps,  right thigh and both nipples were still
twitching. My face felt like it  had been shot up with Novocain, and my
bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had  no control over the drooling.
Apparently I shit myself, but was too  numb to know for sure and my sense
of smell was gone. I saw a faint  smoke cloud above my head which I
believe came from my hair. I'm still  looking for my nuts and I'm
offering a significant reward for their  safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly  threatens me with it!

'If you think Education is difficult, try  being  stupid.'

LOL if thats true u really do have to be a "dipsh!t" to taze self LOL :P nice post man

*EDITED*

heh heh

lol

Good work...lafd my ass off

Well, now you know how old men who don't agree to be carted off to prison feel - tazers are fine but the people who use them in the states are "dipshi!t's" and use the in all the wrong ways. And as a fact many deaths HAVE been the direct result of a tazer shock

Jive, I take it one of the points you are raising is that lots of things can become lethal if not used appropriately..
I've seen clips of American cops tazing people that weren't trying to fight, and then tazing them repeatedly for up to 10 seconds..
Surely a single 1-2 second jolt would be enough to make anyone stop doing whatever it was they were doing wrong.

Funny story made me laugh just as much this time as last time I saw it.

A bullet or a poorly placed batton is more likely to kill you. Pepper or capisum spary in the face and you stumble onto the road or have alergic reaction. And recovery time if you survive is almost instant unlike the others

Dont forget the medical version (much more powerful) commonly known as a difribulator that WILL Every time kill you if used and your not flat line already.
Or the humble Tens Machine used by physio to cause muscle contractions.

OOOOh I've got one for the "Oh it could kill someone crowd" Electro shock treatment - Even this most likely to make you a Vegi

Ronni Levi (I think the guy shot buy on bondi beach with the Katana) might still be alive if our coppers had them.

Heard lots about it in the states, and seen several docos.
Generaly the Stats show that the Tazers were never the primary cause of death. generaly they trigger the cause though i.e. heart condition. Ever been hit by a Spark Plug there is several 100000's of volts.

Electrical fact from a electrician
Volts Do not kill you Amps do. 1ma for 1ms will do you in (thays 1/1000 of an amp and second) and its instant not additive like say lead or mercury, if it was I'd be dead been zapped heaps of times
those 2 AAA batteries would need to provide 100Amps to give 1mA at 100000v
Giving the battery a life of less than .5s before its completly flat.
Not to mention a Tazer does not even have to touch the skin to work
This is the reason for High tension power cables transmit at 110KV you can use much smaller cables cause amps also governs heat buildup in electrical parts.

If it was truly powerful enough to kill you the people who survie should exhibit the same sort of disabilities as survivors of regular electrical shocks i.e. Limbs with Burn out nerves, Arm is there looks OK but is effectivly dead cause it does not work no movement no feeling.

Even Scrubbing your feet on the carpet to build up a static charge generates several 1000's of volts

Current will take the shortest path from point A to B, it will spread out but the majority will go the short path (lowest resistance and there fore greastest current look up parralel circuits if you like) so unless you get hit on both hands your not likly to see that across you heart where it can stop the heart.

I think in the end coppers and emergency services personel deserve to be able to come home at the end of every shift with out being beaten, stratched, stabbed, Shot or injured in anyway just like the rest of us (army excluded during wartime) and should be able to use any means avaliable. Guns are very leathal, Battons/Spray are very close up, Tazer is medium range and very low leathaility. If I was a cop I know what I'd use. and if I was in trouble I know which I'd Perfer to recieve, I know I will be shaky but I will be able to get up and walk away from a Tazer with no holes no broken bones, internal bleading brain injuries. I also know I'm very unlikely to piss the cops off, unless what zoo saw was preceded by the cops picking people at random to zap?

Plus there is an uncoutable number of dipshits sitting in 1-2tonne killing machines called cars anyway, lets ban them too.

Any thats the end of my rant time to go home
(I got very little to do today)

Meta, I totally agree our cops should all have tazers.
The footage I saw the people didn't really do anything to deserve the taze.. They were just a bit drunk and slow getting out of their car.

Just because things are generally non-lethal shouldn't mean they get used regularly. They should still only be used when it is definitely a situation where the emergency person is going to get hurt.