Death Inc

Dear Chalice,

Why the fuck hasn't anyone asked you anything in ages? Was it because you asked us for help with what car to get, and this thread happened (http://www.deathinc.com.au/index.php?topic=14729.0)? Are they in fear of retaliation? Are they scared? Or maybe they just don't give a shit? Oh, and can we call Robb_NZL "Random Potato" from now on? Why the hell did I decide to give up caffeine for 3 days over the weekend? The headaches were ANNOYING, never mind the timing cause mygod let me tell you going on a caffeine withdrawal when you've got cramps is the worst thing ever. And why are all of my friends too chickenshit to go see Prometheus? It's gonna be awesome! I'm gonna shriek (like a GIRL, hahaha!) but it's still gonna be great. Should I go to the races this weekend and find a tradie? How do I bet on horses? The first and only time I ever placed a bet on a horse race it was 'to win' and I randomly picked it for $10 at 21:1 odds, talk about beginners' luck! I have a banananananana on my desk that's gone all spotty, it should still be okay to eat, right? RaNDOM POTaTO. Say it. Several times. It's funny.

/braindump!

(In)Sincerely,

Jazzy

PS - At least I used punctuation...

hey jazzycat, you're not supposed to drink the bong water.

Using Coca-Cola makes bong water liquid taste like skittles, all rainbowy and shit.

Periods sure do make life "fun".

(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrvxkjQb5o1qfu4tho1_250.jpg)

Well Jazzy, I'm glad you asked!

Based off your question I believe the answer to all your questions and problems is this -

You see the world in Technicolour!

An example of how Technicolour can fuck shit up is in teh great movie, The wizard of Oz.

Now originally this was done in black and white and became an instant classic around the world, then they redid the movie in Technicolour and suddenly you have people spotting people hanging in backgrounds, the Lion suddenly turnd into a flamboyant gay kitty kitty and hippies starved themselves to death staring at the yellow brick road for hours on end whilst smashed off their tits....indeed Technicolour has been linked with the discovery of marijuana as ppl felt they needed a "green" filter.

So the evil hypnotic ways of Technicolour seem to have  crawled its way into your brain.

Here's what to do -

go to a mirror, look at yourself for exactly 3 1/2 minutes then slap yourself...really really hard in the face.



............................. .....

Now that you've amused me, we'll begin.

We will cure of this by using what I call "The Eragon effect"

*Setup a camera that has a black & white filter on a tripod.

*Next using still motion tape a Gi Joe walking towards a pigeon.

*Now teh tricky part - grab the pigeon and using a hot glue gun, glue the Gi Joe onto the back of the pigeon...dont worry, pigeons love that shit, its like Anglo and hot wax, turns em on.

*release the pigeon and watch as "Saphira" and Eragon take their first flight...be sure to include the part where they richocet off walls, trees and culminate with teh pigeon...I mean "saphira" plummet to earth resulting in a thud and a puff of feathers...I mean "dragon scales"

Now kick the dead pigeon for being such a shit Dragon and take the tape into the editing studio.

As you taped everything in black and white, you now need to make it technicolour, so open up paint and enjoy putting colour into your movie frame, by frame, by frame...you'll soon get over it and be cured..that easy.  

Here's a frame from a movie that I've made into technicolour to give you an example of excellent and near flawless Technicolour conversion -

(http://i614.photobucket.com/albums/tt221/Chalice00/psycho-l.jpg)


WARNING - This may cause you to hear everything in Dolby surround sound!


Hope that helps,

Chalice

I... I don't get it. Is this like rainbow menstruation?

Shit I didn't think of that as a possible cause!

In that case she'll need bleach, a rubber turkey and a pair of safety glasses...she'll know what to do from there.

Good luck !

Bahahahahaahaha!

*roflmao*