Death Inc

Okay so not sure how many of you know but Chalice set the stove top on fire last night - its a ceramic cooktop btw....
It was an oil fire - he was trying to cook me dinner. 

Anyway - HE DID IT AGAIN TONIGHT!! Almost TWICE even!  The second time tonight there were no flames - just fuckin hot OIL everywhere!  All over the benches, stove top, running down the kitchen cupboards and alllllllll over the floor!!!  We, HE has used two entire rolls of paper towel trying to clean it up.

LOL just fuckin, LOL!  So glad the fire was only on the stove  :PDT_Armataz_01_02:

BAHAHAHAHA fucking cunny funt Chal :P

Lucky!

My sister forgot she was heating oil for Papadum, next thing the rangehood was on fire and the smoke alarm was going off.  Lucky we just got a fire blanket,extinguisher and smoke alarm a month before. 

Bad Chalice, bad. 8)

lol i thought that he want allowed near the stove/bbq/anything with a heating element :P

I think its an act, oldest trick in the book try something like cooking or washing and just be really bad at it so the missus does it to save the trouble of cleaning up after you, but you look good for making an effort!
I bet he puts red stuff in with the white as well, or dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher

yup, don't do something well if you don't want to do it twice.

Where's the pics from a few years ago of that cake that looked like a steak or steak that looked like a cake?

YOU NEED TO PUT TRAINING WHEELS ON THE STOVE FOR BEGINNERS :o

I did something similar; it was pluto pups not papadums, and I didn't have an extinguisher, fire blanket or smoke alarm. I did have second degree burns though. Rangehoods produce the vilest black smoke.

awesome Zoo, me too, I was frying up hot chips, though I got second degree burns as well on my hand from picking up the pan and dumping it in the sink, thus destroying the sink, but the range hood and cupboard above it was on fire so the pan had to move. :-[

Bageled, that sounds almost exactly like what happened to me. I moved the burning pan to the sink, sink piping got melted, skin on hand got melted, rangehood eventually burnt itself out.

You don't think in the moment of panic to just put a plate over the pan...

Haha I was cooking apple crumble once and decided it was taking to long to brown off on top so I took it out of the oven and put in the griller, the extra sugar I had added to the crumble part sure made pretty flames

Omfg how do you men all appear to have set something on fire in the kitchen???!  Im pretty sure if you all checked with your girlfriends/wives, they have probably never set fire to the kitchen!  *shakes head, walks away*

Mmmm, Fire.....pretty  :PDT_Armataz_01_08:

I am a good cook and don't mind cleaning up ether, OMG! I have a vagina :(

This comes as a surprise somehow? :P

If you have a vagina, just get her to do the cooking and cleaning for you.

My parents started a roster for cooking when I was ten, me making dinner twice a week until I moved out 1994'ish.  

Cooked for myself until moved in w/MrsSillen in 2001'ish.  

Stay at home dad making lunches and dinners for two years 2005-2007.

No fires, in the kitchen, anyway.  Being able to torch off the incinerator every Saturday when I was younger got a lot of flamin urges out :)

I can cook well, when I'm not distracted by Lost.

Actually Kylie, my wife has set fire to the kitchen.
You're right though Zoo, ever since I ignited the kitchen, when I cook chips, I always make sure the lid of the pot is sitting on the bench right next to stove. And in all honesty, I've had a pot of chips burst into flames since and quickly extinguished it with the lid. When you cook with a lot of oil, compustion happens especially when you use a gas stove, the oil spits  and whoomp. I now own a special pot for cooking chips in, a nice high one. My home made chips are a household favorite.
I remember talking to some girls back in my uni days, and they were telling me quite proudly, that they didn't know how to cook, when I expressed shock, they pulled the feminist card on me, 'so we should know how to cook because we are women' and I said, 'you should know how to cook so you can be independant', idiots.

Good point on the independence Bageled. What were they going to do when they moved into the real world? Shack up with a guy that can cook? Hardly feminist to rely on a guy.

How do you cook your chips Bageled? I used to double cook them, do all in batches really hot for a few minutes then start again relatively cool until they float. Too much trouble now though. Costco has 2kg bags of the chips I like pretty cheap so it's not worth the trouble of peeling potatoes.

I buy washed pototoes, and cut them by hand, to about 5x5mm lengths, I don't peel them though.
Heat up the oil, and test it by dipping one in. If the oil foams around it then its hot enough. Then slowly dump raw potato in. Thats the bit you need to be careful of because the water in the potato boils off and can overflow the pot, then flames. I throw in about 5 pototos worth at a time, so one batch is enough for two people. When I take them out I put them into a strainer and paper towel them a bit to get some of the oil off. They don't end up crisp and dry like mackers chips, they are a bit soggy.  But soggy or not, they are damn tasty.
Yeah I don't doubel dip them, jus the once, I used to do something similar but I don't think stovetops can get the oil to a temperature, and keep it there, to give you the mackers style chips, so I gave up on it.

ummm i cook chips in the oven - no oil and yet both of you are skinnier than me..... i hate both of you :P

i have never put anything on fire, apart from singeing my hair once or twice.
this is probably the reason i cook at chal's and kylies.
1.) safety reasons - chal has put a specially bough flameless BBQ on fire
2.) give kylie a rest - man chal is a slave driver :p

i can cook anything you chalenge me to and do it well, if you dont believe me i will come and cook at your house in front of you. you supply ingerdients, cooking untensils costs of transport to youand BOOOZE and place to sleep and place to recover the next day, unless you are in brisbane/gold/sunny coast, then you provide ingredients, cooking utensils and BOOOZE and place to sleep and place to recover the next day. and i will proove that SINGLE men can cook without destroying the world

I can make some fucking wicked toast

This is how I cook chips.

(http://i.imgur.com/VjYod.jpg)

seriously though I wonder how those chips taste with all the lead, nickel, cadmium etc thats leeched out of the PCB

Bageled is allergic to a potato peeler.
I remember mum setting to electric stove on fire, put the chips out but every time we took the fire blanket of the stove would burst into flame again, ended up putting the hot plate cover on instead, took like 5 years to get it off.
I got into trouble with interesting ways to light the fire place, see glass of metho, basting syringe, boredom with flame thrower, then lighting glass. Same tip as above put some thing on top of burning container, do not stick head directly above and blow.
Explanation for facial burning when dad rushed home – was blowing on fire and there was a backdraft

MEN!!! LEAVE THE STOVE ALONE. those are for women only. why the hell do you think the microwave was invented about the same time women started actively join the workforce. Almost completely FAIL proof. almost*


*relates to a time I somehow melted a microwave safe dish to the glass pan. ( alcohol involved)

LOL LOL LOL..just Fukin LOL.

I obviously had not cleaned teh stove properly/at all (kylie's away for 2 days) and was just heating water for some soup..literally just boiling water, left it on stove....came back out, you guessed it...it was on fire from the oil again.  Flames just up the side of the pot..but on fire none the less.

  BBWWHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAH a...boiling water..stove catches fire...BBWWHWHAHAHAHAHA.  

Note to self..clean stove top before attempting ANY cooking again !  

* laughing so hard right now..boiling water...flames...ROFL, not a troll or BS, srsly just happened   :-X

:PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14: :PDT_Armataz_01_14:

oh god help us all

You should start your own cooking show Chal.

Thats why we get to work the BBQ it is supposed to be on fire

but...but...but.......how  ???

Except Chal has a flameless BBQ and still set it on fire

 
^This    :-[

It's not just his cooking that leaves people be-wildered, but those who really know him eating can be a problem too.

(http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/5177/1710092233.jpg)


lub u man, miss ya

Ahhh good times, good times

Got laid that night too...by a dog  :-[

is permission now granted to publish those photos ???

No....oh god..NO!

:(

lol do it bohica you know you want to :P

No dont do it Bohica

DO IT BOHICA!  Bleeet!

You know, I am not entirely sure that's FOOD he has all over his face...

Crazy night

I can confirm indeed it was a cheesecake as some areshole hid a dog biscuit in my piece.....  :sick:

 :-X

Picks or it didnt happen!!

there is pic's and witnessess

cheesecake... riiiiight.... sure it was...