Death Inc

A zombie has just broken through the door to your room.

useing anything within arms reach what do you do to stop the zombie from killing you.

i have a watch, mobile phone, 2 empty beers, a bottle opener, earphones and heel balm.

 1:i smash the 2 beer bottles over its head to attempt to stun it i then tie its feet together with the earphones and stick the heel balm in its mouth on the way out.

 2:i smash the 2 beer bottles over its head the zombie is immune to being stunned and i die a horrible death but before dieing i eat the heel balm because ive allways wonderd what it tastes like. 

2

this isnt a pick wich one u sould do thing post up what u can/would do based on whats on ur desk

i have a desktop printer, a stapler, a monitor & a pair of industrial scissors (big fuck off ones!)

throw the monitor first - smash the printer over its head staple the fucker to the wall and go to work with the scissors  :PDT_Armataz_01_36:

or maybe i should run like a girl and ring MaGyver he always knows what to do!

Keyboard to its face, move chair to block it, throw shirt over its head to blind it momentarily,   grab phone, break window and savage the fucker with broken glass...all else fails jump thru window to escape and call police with phone.

"Police, Fire or ambulance?"

"there's a fucking Zombie in my room!"

"Umm..could you repeat that sir?"

"I SAID THERE'S A FUCKING ZOMBIE IN MY ROOM!"

"transferring you now sir!"

......

"Police, constable McGregor speaking"

"There..is..a..fucking...zombi e..IN MY ROOM!"

"Now calm down sir, it sounded like you said zombie?"

"OH GOD, its climbing out after me!"

"What is sir?"

"THE FUCKING ZOMBIE...NO , NO GET AWAY...GET AWAY!!!!"

*sounds of screaming, followed by wet squishy noises*

"Sir...Sir, are you there?"

"brrrraaaaaiiinnnnnsssssss"

hmmm, I have within arms reach:

-shelf full of video games
-3 inch thick book on repairing computers
-6 computers in various stages of disrepair
-a 14 inch EGA monitor
-DIO: Live at Donnington  CD
-toolkit with screwdrivers and shit

So what I'd do first is put on the DIO CD. Hopefully the zombie will surrender to the pure awesomeness of 80's metal. If it doesn't stop the zombie, well it helps set the ambiance for some zombie bashing.
Otherwise I'd pick up the monitor and smash it over the zombie's head. Thing weighs a ton and  the old CRTs will hold a charge long after they are turned off, so should give him a nasty jolt as well.
If that doesn't work, then I'd start throwing computers at it and stabbing it with screwdrivers. If I can't escape by then I guess I'd start crying like a bitch as the zombie munches on my spleen.


Of course, this is assuming the zombie doesn't see my shelf full of video games, realise what an awesome cool guy I am and decide that I may live another day, thus saving all of this hassle.

^ lol'd hard @ this +1

i grab the cat that is at my feet and throw it at it. i then crack the wine bottle over its head, then grab my 4 D Cell maglight and cave its skull in with that. i walk cool like over to my cupboard and grab my ninjato katana and smile as i say "i've been waiting for this day"

i hae 2 knifes sitting on my desk i WIN!

i'd put on my pants

I would throw my wife at them andrun away for support and weapons and come back with a vengance...

I think

Is it a female Zombie?

If so i'd turn around and say "how you doin?" and shag it....then cut off its head.

I'd distract it by reading the Wheel of Time to it, then vacuum it's fucking face off. Or see if it prefers drums or bass and jam with it.

i'm a freakin medievalist, it would be like a blinded copper walking into a room full of outlaw bikies.

lol awesome replys everyone. to tired to post a real reply to this sorry....

I have a beer bottle, a large-ish book (that I use as a mouse pad), and scissors.
That's all that's worthwhile.

I'd grab the book, use it as a shield while I push the zombie back and onto my bed, I'll then grab my cricket bat before it gets back up, and begin smashing it over the head.

Cricket bats > all.

i have a plate, a bin, a guitar and a lolly tin.

I would grab the guitar smash it over its head, while its stun start smashin its head with the plate until it brakes, then move on to my lolly tin and finish the job. (also through a kick or 2 in) =] then when im done clean it all up and put it in the bin. then continue on the Death Inc forums <3.

Well, at first glance, the things right in front of me on my desk that I would consider useable as weapons are two 4 inch blade knives, a 7 inch solid shaft phillips head and a can of deoderant.

I'm going by the assumption that this zombie is the far more likely scenario of an "infectation" zombie, as opposed to the reanimated by unnatural evil powers kind. This should in effect make it more susceptible to incapacitation techniques and blunt forced trauma.

I think if I was unprepared, with the infectation not yet having made the news and people only just beginning to get infected, and a zombie burst into my room catching my by surprise, my first reaction would be the spray the deoderant in it's face. I don't expect this would get me much time, and with the zombie between me and the door, I would have to use the time gained by this distraction to either immobilise or remove the immediate danger.

I'm going by another assumption, that this infected zombie is able to transmit the infection through contact with it's blood and saliva, so if possible I don't want to get too close. I've got a screwdrive, and a couple of knives, but for both of those I'm going to need to get pretty close.

For that reason I would employ a forceful kick into the zombie's chest, pushing him back out the door and hopefully knocking him over. While the zombie was getting up, I would be moving out the door, screwdriver in hand, and on the way out I would pick up my barbell handle, and that zombie would get up only to meet 2 kilos of solid steel coming crashing down on his head.

After repeated blows to the zombies head, hopefully incapacitating it, I would adhere to the "double tap" rule, as seen in Zombieland, and placing the end of the screwdriver in it's ear, drive it come with the end of the barbell handle, ensuring that zombie doesn't live to trouble anyone ever again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS8KXHBCimo

I have a copy of Hamlet for English

I'm fucked

writing essays on Hamlet for the HSC basically turned me into a zombie. Only brain I wanted to eat was my own though.

I have two keyboards
2 mice (computer)
paper, and lots of it
a PCPowerplay magazine
2 monitors
a box
a mobile
a desk light
a copy of "Crysis: Maximum edition"
a copy of "Dead Rising 2"
a mug with an easter egg in it
a printer
a metal thingy I've never quite established its proper use for.
a pen
a pair of sunnies
2 computers
a mario and luigi hat
more boxes
2 bags
a square thingy (actually rectangular) [ON WHEELS]
another box (with a ribbon on it)
a nerf gun
a miniature RC Mini Cooper
more fucking boxes!
magnetic darts
DVD's and books
a box of nerf darts
some clothes
a glass I should've taken out a week ago
a DVD drive

What I would do is yell out at the zombie "FUCK YOU" then pick up the glass and shatter it on his head. then kick him in the chest hoping that makes him fall down, then I pick up that weird metal thingy and slice his neck (hopefully his head will come off after a few chops)

I imagine only 1 zombie came in.

I have within arms reach:
2 Monitors
2 towers
A Giant samsung printer/scanner/machine of death
1x Contracts Law textbook (weighs more than the printer)
10x other law textbooks
A Giant stapler
A Razer Imperator
A Razer Arcosta
A lasagna covered fork
A Calendar
A box of coles tissues

I would throw pick up the giant printer, ripping my shirt in true hulk fashion while doing so, and throw it at the zombie(s). Stab it in the eye/head/brain with my lasagne covered fork, proceed to smack it in the head with my Arcosta keyboard as a makeshift mallet, hammering the fork in further.
Clean up the mess with my Coles tissues.

You guys are so violent.

Id simply google conflict resolution wiki and diffuse the situation by getting to the heart of the zombies emotional state where by which I guide it into leading a more fulfilling life.

really depends on what kind of zombie it is, the shambling Romero zombie, or the runinng Boyle zombie.

I has got a pencil

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3bhYH58PzA