Death Inc

How would you resolve the flood crisis?

Well Alucard...I'm glad you asked.

I have 2 "solutions"

1. Giant SpongeBob
(http://www.literatepackrat.com/blogs/scrapbook/archives/_40566621_sponge_afp300.jpg)



A second "solution" is to stop fighting the flood...embrace the flood.  I say we all turn back into...PIRATES!!!

Here's a 10 step guide on how to become a Flood Pirate (the worst of the pirate kind!)

1. Fold a cardboard box into a ship like shape
2. Paint it black
3. Find an endangered tree and carve an oar out of it
4. Using Bleach, bleach out a skull and cross bones on a tea towel
5. Find more endangered trees and make masts out of them
6. Superglue masts to Cardboard ship..that way they'll hold in the flood conditions.  NOTE: Normal glue isn't "super" enough to hold.
7. Dig a bloated body out of the flood waters or for even more fun...drown your own
8. skin the body
9. Also using Superglue attach body to front of ship
10 Whack on an eye patch, chuck on a bandana and  superglue a parrot to your shoulder

Here's one i've made earlier for visual reference
(http://earth911.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/regatta.jpg)


Now that you have your ship its time to hit the high "seas", targetting those pesky rescue boats for plunder is a good idea and a great way to capture new wenches as they're pulled from the water.

So AHOY THERE me Hearties..I'm off to bury my treasure in yonder submarine house.

Captain Chalice



p.s. I do NOT condone the use of flood victims for any ship building processes..this is a national tragedy and I apologize if this has offended anyone (but you knew I would..so why'd you bloody read it?)

Is it true that you can make a pirate mothership by waiting for your house to break away from it's foundations and start floating?

Its true they become  mobile pirate bases yes.

The ones underwater however are the upgraded submarine versions of the "pirate Base"

what happen to Chalice being Prime minister ?!

EXACTLY..if I had of gotten the job I would've chucked on my official vestment robe..grabbed my staff and parted that shit like moses right around the fucking towns...but Noooooooooooooo  the people wanted the Ranga huh?

Well...Now all we have left is the Pirate option

OR

We could just chuck on a blonde wig and a mermaid outfit, have an epileptic fit next to the rising waters and wing it?

so many levels of fucked!

the problem is chal, we didn't even want a ranga, the independants did :(

maybe you should've convinced those guys with a blumpkin?

I try..My brain is like a rotten onion, not too bad on the outside..but as you peel the layers back it just gets worse and worse.  If I ever go to a psychologist..I'll be sure to have THAT little session taped :D

+10 for that one!